I would also like to know why she tweeted on March 15th that Drake is "rocking that incest face."

You, my dear, are onto something.

It made me laugh like a maniac. Then it made me wish for pictures of animals smoking. Which then made me crave smoked meat.

"Must be able to stand on head. Ability to remember script optional."

Personally, I thought the outfit I wore to the Mad Men premiere was hands-down the best. I disguised myself as Jon Hamm's chair. It was a glorious night.

I will roll my enemies up in their yoga mats and push the helpless people-burritos over a cliff.

I love the idea of a yoga fight. I will out-serene all you motherfuckers. My inner-peace will beat the shit out of your inner-peace. I will satnam you into the ground.

Actually, you're the one who's really coming out looking bad in this exchange.

Alright, alright, alright, that explains it.

27 football coaches? Why the fuck does one school need 27 football coaches?

This is execrable.

I know. All the barf ever is not enough barf to convey how I feel about that. Really, though, she has no choice but to revisit 50 Shades as much as she possibly can, because the bitch can't write, and without the Twilight juggernaut to ride to success, she's got nothing to carry her.

What are the odds we can get a successful kickstarter going to do the same for E.L. James?

Unfortunately, the universes inside our heads are rarely ruled by logic.

Hey you! Just wanted to check and see if you've been following Clashtalk in the past few days, and are aware that we've got a http://clashtalk.kinja.com blog set up for when the switch hits. I hope to see you there, stumbling around in confusion with the rest of us, when the big day comes. :)

They definitely aren't people I'd want to be around. I just imagine them being the kind of friends who come over to your house to hang out, but spend the entire time rudely making out.

Yeah, that kind of made me sad. Not because there's anything to judge about their perfectly consensual sexy-time fun, but this tidbit combined with the article from earlier in the week where she said she didn't feel pretty enough for his tastes does make me feel a bit bad for her.

Gawker. Media. What part of this do you not understand? This is Nick Denton's empire, where page clicks and sleaze are the only things that matter. I don't know where you're pulling that mission statement from, but it's just a bunch of pretty words. Jezebel contradicts itself constantly. It is NOT a feminist site. It…

Dude. Do you know anything about MIA? Are you aware that she rages out inappropriately on twitter all the time? Gets in fights constantly? Tweeted a reporter's home address and contact info when she didn't like an interview he wrote? She's an angry person prone to frequent immature outbursts. It's a long-standing…