People are fucking garbage, which might explain why we seem to have more sympathy for dogs than other humans...

It’s just like my dad always says...
*three minute voicemail of ambient traffic noise and AM radio*

Nothing witty to add. Just stopping by to say this right here brings me joy matched by few things around the web. Nothing busy; no distractions. It’s just a few folks on a field, well-lit captured by a horizontal camera. Then the sounds— the rocketship cracks and their echoes, unsullied by announcers or fans. This is…

And what a Celtics way in impose his way into a conversation about the Lakers and Knicks.

This comment was ungreyed so we could laugh at how bad it is.

If baseball players were half as fanatical about the written rules as they are the unwritten rules there’d be no asterisks in the record books....

Other famous Austrian painters include...

Literally all he had to do was read the headline to know to nix this particular article. No oversight whatsoever.

Take my star you magnificent bastard.

Sometimes in life, when one door closes, a thousand other doors get slammed in your face.

I saw him in the times square Olive Garden two hours ago. I know that’s two hours, but you know how far those breadsticks can go 

Personally, I’m hoping for a debilitating stroke. Not so much as it will kill him outright but enough so that he gets 25th amendmented and then can see the celebration of the whole world when he has to leave the White House. Then he dies shortly thereafter. Is that specific enough?

A cake? The day that Trump dies I’m going to quit drinking.

I’m all for principled stands, but why can't a well-known athlete bite his/her tongue, stand in front of a bunch of cameras and meet the President, and launch a freedom rocket or two right in his eye?

“I think I did a pretty good job as a young-ass mom,” she added. “Kudos to me.”
Kudos to her, indeed.

Why were they interviewing post-bender mark Zuckerberg about barstool sports

If you ever need motivation to swear off drinking for the rest of your life, just take a close look at the skin around this guy’s nose.

Kawhi barely enjoyed himself and didn’t drink anything the whole time. He’s going to Utah. 

Kawhi showed up at the game and started flinging batteries at the umps, he’s going to Philly.

This is all good and well, but I’m not convinced he’s a true Torontonian until I’ve seen him on video smoking crack