We used to talk about people knocking on the sheets to wake you up in the morning

Tugs the hearstrings.

How can you criticize a guy who is always pulling for his teammates?

“....sexual assaulting a woman, exposing himself to another woman, and touching himself in front of a third woman.”

Who the fuck invites someone to dinner over email?

Somebody shot Trot Nixon too?

Oh....pretty much most of the state of Rhode Island wants to kill Shilling.

The master plan of six to ten people was to have one guy walk up to Ortiz and shoot him in the back?

Let me explain...

If only you could kick a football more consistently, your Dad might’ve stuck around.

The tendon is often replaced with one from a cadaver. Which means Quinn Cook might miss next season too.

It brings me great joy to find out she’s going to Cleveland. I’ve always hated her and I know she hates Cleveland.

Don’t hurt yourself with that reach, king.

Kawhi does DeMar’s whole thing 1000x better, then adds defense good enough to bother Giannis.

Regarding #2 on your list, if you ever go white-water rafting in the New River in WV, it is soooo worth it to find The Mystery Hole.   Actual name and not a euphemism.

Ok, grandma!

I know this is beside the point, but looking at the Warriors dropping like they’ve just stormed the beaches of Normandy just makes Lebron’s ability to play 100+ games every season for eight straight years without sustaining a debilitating injury look even more superhuman.

It’s time like this when Donald Sterling misses being a minority owner.

Another equipment knower can correct me on this if I’m wrong, but I believe the chest-plate worn by umpires is actually sturdier protection than what is worn by catchers.

I agree. C.J. Chron’s nonchalantness on first base very much adds to the overall studliness of the play.