I kind of love that your phrasing makes it sound like you use oats to bulk up your mom. :)

"What should our social media strategy be?"

"Woodford Reserve: We should stick to making bourbon, not commercials."

As a model minority failure, I was really excited about the whole no math thing ("he'll build the abacus without having to do the math"). But as a dude who is not particularly manly, when I tried to buy Woodford Reserve I accidentally walked out of the store with some new shoes and some old fashioned bullshit gender…

THANK YOU for this story. I'm not obsessed with Danny Devito ("How do you feel about Danny Devito, emodwarf?" "Eh.") or Morocco ("How do you feel about Morocco, emodwarf?" "...Tagine?"), but I really like that he was just being friendly and sincere and not creeping. I hope your ten-year-old trip was good!

Sad but true. People can be overly sensitive and read into even innocuous language, and that particular guy was clearly not in a good mental space. As someone who writes for a living, avoiding ambiguity and finding solutions in language is important to me. I wonder if "Can I get you anything else?" would minimize…

Agreed, it's definitely standard language. But "Would you like anything else?" or something similar accomplishes the same thing without leaving room for misinterpretation.

It was a licensing casualty, sadly. It's available free with Amazon Prime Instant Video though. There's also an original DVD box set and a 10-year anniversary box set that has a disc of extras (cast interviews and the like). Uhm, not that I'm freakishly obsessed with Sports Night...

Is there something inherently bad about gluten (if you don't have celiac disease)? I thought it was just something protein-rich derived from wheat.

Good thing you can still respect the elderly while thinking that them having sex is repulsive. THEY'RE ("WEIRD AND ICKY") PEOPLE TOO!

Happy to help! I know how soul crushing and stressful job searching can be when you're unemployed. It's awful. Hopefully I can help, even if just a little bit.

I'm really sorry you and your boyfriend were both laid off. If you want suggestions on your resumes, you can email them to me at jezebelresumes @ gmail.com. Include some details on your industry and the kind of job(s) you're looking for. A bit about your personality would be helpful too.

Aren't you renting a dom though? Sounds like you were the slave.

Ah, interesting - I completely forgot that you get to pick what answers you'll accept. Thanks!

The way I see it, the algorithm matches how compatible you are, but with a large emphasis on how ALIKE you are. With some questions, they take into account opposites being better - for instance, if I say I'm dominant, I likely am compatible with someone who answers submissive instead, versus I am liberal and want…

It's not that Zimmerman was avoiding the hero spotlight; he just heard a kid opening a bag of candy and ran grab his gun.

I was just using Boston as an example, as indicated by, "As an example..." - because you said that any city that doesn't run 24/7 is an automatic fail.

I'd suggest the scores from The Magnificent Seven and The Great Escape, both by Elmer Bernstein.

Would you be willing to pay 40% more EACH RIDE to have 24/7 public transportation?

Thank goodness for you professional black men lawyers.