Dog has good instincts though. “Here’s a man that talks a lot about steaks but doesn’t actually have any” thinks Dog. Trust dogs!

Fakanal- it is hysterical because it is pronounced pretty much like “fuck an owl”. My Aunt taught it to us one day when she was in giddy spirits and we overused it right away.

Lynchian figure who will ask you to call him at your house, Rick Scott.

So FWIW, you’ve been such a good ambassador for your state that every time Florida craziness pops up, I think, But on the other hand, there’s Randilyn...

Creepy Villain from Poltergeist 2, Rick Scott

He’s john Carville without all the fun.

Funny story, a few years ago I was at Epcot with my friends waiting to get on the Norway ride and the line suddenly stopped moving for several minutes. Once we got a bit closer we saw that Rick Scott and his family held up the line so they could get right on the ride without waiting. We knew it was him because of his…

Nosferatu, Rick Scott

See, I always feel your nom de kinja is a misnomer; this list was a very efficient and valuable use of your time.

Ahem.

Well, if Rick Scott is gonna be the VP nominee, we’re going to need some adjectives for him. I’ll start:

Why can’t these people treat Trump with the same lack of deference?

well when you had straight up cornelius fudge as your previous governor there are only so many more options

He’s the rich version of “Florida Man”.

Ok, fuck this guy for a number of reasons, but mostly because he’s a raging bigot asshole who oughtta be sentenced to a lifetime of waiting in line at Disney World only for the ride to get closed just before he gets on it and also because he made me agree with anybody on Morning Joe.

Floridians: how did you manage to elect as your governor ACTUAL VOLDEMORT???

Yeah, only sentient circumcised penises could—... Waaaaaaitaminute...

You see, it looks like he’s sweating, but he actually just cries through the pores in his scalp.

Their first problem was expecting that a sentient uncircumcised penis would have a coherent opinion on Islam.

This is true. What if it’s a Trump/Cruz ticket? Then there will be poo everywhere.