Yeah, it seemed like they’d been pretty down with lying (and probably actively rewarding it) up to that point. Telling people Carson dropped out before the Iowa primary was a way bigger lie than the Rubio Bible thing, as far as lies go.

That Star Spangled Banner opening made me grind my teeth pretty hard. Other than that, they barely even discussed their garbage policies, they just yelled at each other. I felt more despair than rage, how about you?

As someone with an April birthday, I’m pretty sure I deserve a say in all this. My birthday already falls squarely in White History Year. If this smirking pasty-assed jagbag absolutely insists on making my special day live in infamy, I’d prefer making April Mandatory Gluten Free Month, 30-Day-Long Period Month, or…

Well, balls. I guess my mom and sisters and I are the only Jews who care that Bernie’s Jewish. Don’t get me wrong, I have no love for or solidarity with those Lieberman/Bloomberg Israel-fellating temple president country club Judeochristian values Jews. Those schmucks wouldn’t be allowed at our seder if they were…

Great idea! Maybe this could be the new face of the presumptive Republican nominee:

I’m at work but I’m planning to listen to it on the drive home. How much road rage should I expect?

I doubt he even allows his wives to kiss him on the lips. Lip-kissing is a sacred bond between a man and his daughter.

Don’t make me decide whether to delete your comment! On one hand, there are some real creeps on this site. Which is why i never tell anyone my email address, since, as you now know, my email is myfullname@futuremafiawives.edu. But on the other hand, it would be a tragedy to let that comment go unseen.

They have tons of diversity! They got dipshits, fucksticks, pricks, douchebags, dickheads, dinguses, and assholes. They got hucksters, hustlers, con artists, flimflam men, and liars. They got schmos, yutzes, putzes, and schmucks. They got morons, idiots, dumdums, and shitferbrains. They got racists, sexists,…

That’s bullshit! My mom’s friends who’ve been together for decades can’t get married, but Berlusconi got to have his sham of a marriage. (Remember when he got caught at his sidepiece’s 18th birthday party and his then-wife was like, “That’s funny, he couldn’t make it to our daughter’s 18th birthday party”?

Same on all three counts! I’m marrying Berlusconi because my ultimate life goal is to be a mafia wife. I know the P.C. police would have us believe not all Italians are mafiosi, but no one’s convincing me Berlusconi’s wife isn’t living that mafia wife lifestyle. Every time he left the house I’d shriek, “Run! Run to…

Thanks for the clarification. It’s nice to have more context, but I don’t think the context makes the viewpoint any less extreme (things like databases and temporary bans tend to be stepping stones to even bigger human rights abuses) and the “ban all Muslims” talking point is summarizing his point of view rather than…

DEAL!

Fuck Rubio. Marry...marry...fuck it, I quit.

That would actually be way better than the alternative. The four of them would spend so much time fighting/kissing that you would be spared Trump’s dirty talk.

Fuck, marry, kill: Trump, Harper, Berlusconi?

AGAIN?!?

Awww, I haven’t heard that name in ages! That’s so bittersweet.

He unveiled his education policy tonight! He was all, “I love the poorly educated.”

My blood ran cold. That could be a very timely Halloween movie next year.