I mean, sometimes he seems tolerable when he’s talking about how Planned Parenthood provides important services and the Iraq War was a mistake, but a minute later he starts talking about shooting Muslims with bullets dipped in pig’s blood. I’d put McCain to the left of Trump for sure. Campaign finance reform, opposed…

They’re BOTH narcissist buffoon dictatorial sociopaths. It’s a fucking horror show either way.

The Wall Street Journal says Bloomberg and Trump lose to Sanders in a hypothetical winner-take-all menage a trois. http://blogs.wsj.com/washwire/2016/… And didn’t Bloomberg say he wouldn’t run against Hillary, or did he change his mind?

Oh no! What happened?

Keep giving those interviews, Carson, daily.

Thanks! I’ve been partial to Samantha Bee’s “sentient caps lock button” description lately.

McGovern was running against a sitting president. The Democratic nominee this year will, in all likelihood, be running against Trump (a borderline-fascist poison dart frog stuck in a shower drain whose only political experience to date is convincing people Obama was born in Kenya) and an extremely fractured Republican…

The fried greed tomatoes were autocorrected into oblivion.

Fraud Bear is just a man in a suit!

SO fake. My guess is that the lady’s fiance has a close but nonincestuous relationship with his sister, and she resents it, so she threw in a couple real details and then made up the whole tale of shared beds and wedding dresses and sister honeymoons to blow off some steam.

His absence was the best thing about last season.

Can we toss Trump in the maze first? He’ll be up for it because he is the smartest and the best at mazes.

What an absurd thing to make up! What happened to the good old days of Obama rounding all the white people up in FEMA camps and murdering Scalia? Now it’s like “Uh-oh, Obama is too soft on soldiers. #NotMyPresident #ExecutiveBranchSoBlack”

Did you watch this Samantha Bee clip yet? (The Trump part starts around 5:20, but I’m including the whole thing because it’s all funny.)

In which case the army should DEFINITELY provide gluten-free meals.

Thanks for the information! I never knew that. In that case, it’s actually pretty fucked up if the military is providing soldiers with gluten-free meals but still not allowing people with celiac disease to serve. (Or maybe Ted Cruz is just lying his ass off about the gluten-free meals, as usual..who knows?)

“I, Ted Cruz, have special dietary restrictions too. Like how I only eat pets who saved their owners’ lives by dialing 911. Or toddlers with adorable Youtube videos, when it’s my cheat day. (And it’s always my cheat day! You ladies know what I’m talking about!) (Please laugh.) But at least, praise God, I didn’t…

Ask your friend if Trump’s mother is named Rosemary.

I agree with your last sentence, and isn’t that fucking crazy? Trump is the only Republican acknowledging that there will be fewer abortions if we fund organizations that can prevent unwanted pregnancies than there will be if we cut all funding for Planned Parenthood and just run from high school to high school…

That’s my point! He was stating facts without saying anything positive about Scalia.