@MarkKelsosMigraine: She's not a dog, just colorblind.

In most of life, hard work and determination are more important than social status or God-given talent

Of course he hit all his free throws. He's Jewish. Can't run for shit, though. It's like his feet are something or other.

kind of afraid of three-pointers, though.

No no, he didn't cut him from the team, he cut him with a knife.

I'm pretty sure Buchanan has done anal.

For Christmas, I want that photo pasted onto non-Cobie Smulders page of the most recent Maxim. Then I want 20 minutes alone.

Hey, was Stephen Davis there, too? It could have been my 2003 fantasy team's reunion.

First of all, the stadiums are going to have be at least three times bigger than the picture.

Good luck in the Dave Matthews cover band!

"We're starting something special here at Connecticut," Lobo told the Baltimore Sun. "This game should earn us some respect."

@ItsAlwaysSunnyInGoldenState: It's hard to find older Qataris, for sure, but post-1977 Qataris, like the 2600 and 5200 are pretty easy to identify.

@Pepito, the biggest cat in the whole wide world: Now tell me tonight's lotto numbers!

Joseph Blatter looks like a guy who's shit in a hooker's mouth.

Do they have an all-you-can-skeet section?

If only there was a way to make a quick buck in Nevada.

@sacoplenty: To satisfy Title IX requirements, Maryland has started a Women's Competitive Chubby Chasing club team.

@EddieSuttons SouthernComfort: Very slow, lethargic, riots.

The Maryland Men's Competitive Eating Team is sponsored by Danny's.

@EddieSuttons SouthernComfort: Hey man, it's not like we do a lot of winnin' at Maryland.