Covering up allegations of sexual misconduct is just another day at the office for the D.C. Schools' Chancellor.

oooh...ohh...can you do Ryan Howard's swing next? #searchingforenriquewilson

@twoeightnine: This is a larger problem with umpires vs. instant replay. In football, if you think a ball is fumbled, you pick it up and run toward the end zone. Baseball is not as linear - whether Howard catches that ball determines where he throws next and how the Yankeess can get out (tag vs. force). There's a…

@UkraineNotWeak: Because even in the World Series, official scorers are just some old, local shmucks who mourn the loss of the afternoon newspaper. #umpires

But the NFHS then voted to bar runners from wearing visible undergarments of more than one color

And when the hearing was over, the senators and NFL representatives placed bets on who could tie their shoes quicker, Robert Byrd or Al Toon. #nfldementia

Strictly for "performance" reasons, ESPN snitches say

Except it's not clear that Deion's advice is really helping anyone. You don't see Dez Bryant releasing an ill-conceived hip-hop album, do you? #dezbryant

@Rick Mahorn's Pimp Hand is Concrete Cyanide: But where the fuck is Wallace? #running

oops.

After hearing about the new study, retired Jets wide receiver Al Toon said, "Friday is mac and cheese night." #science

It was dark, and I accidentally grabbed the Ben Gay instead of the Vaseline. That was a bad beat. #badbeats

Nickelback: Chad Kroeger

The angry sports bears are officially out to get us

"In baseball, your jilted mistress resorts to Craigslist to find someone else to harrass your wife.

His NFL dreams may be dead, but his chances of landing a gig at ESPN just got much better. #kansasstatewildcats

@Civil Negligence: Steve Phillips strikes me as the type of guy who doesn't care about looks so long as he gets to put it in the butt. #stevephillips

Todd Hundley has some wierd ways of getting revenge for Phillips trading him in 1998. #stevephillips

Alright blonde twins, grab a helmet, you're goin' in!

Corey Feldman, Joe Francis, and...I guess that's Leaf on the right? I didn't think he'd look so much like Dom Irrerra.