Being the fastest woman in Wisconsin is sorta like being the tallest jockey in the stable, right?

Rick Reilly's not a girl, Garrett.

I select the PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES to win the base-ball championship in regulation. Mock me now, but you will all pay in Raul Ibvember.

I prefer Betty

@ArkansasFred: It's actually boilerplate from Will's suicide note.

you look up and you're down 5-3 in the seventh, and when that happens against the Dodgers, in their stadium (where they won 50 games this year), you've already lost

@UkraineNotWeak: "Not so fast"...say the ladies of Rio.

@Hit Bull Win Steak: well done.

The commissioner of the new league says the AFL's business model was broken, but that this time around they think they've found the key to running a viable sports league: having the ex-frontman of an 80's hair band own every team. Joining Jon Bon Jovi in the owner's box this year are Kip Winger (Mississippi…

Hey, I got that same thing on a pair of gloves.

OK, so this explains his performance, but how did the KKK make McNabb throw up during the fourth quarter of Super Bowl XXXIX?

@Doug Dascenzo's Only Fan: Sarah Palin admires how FDR bravely died rather then serve out his term as a lame.

Also understanding? Mike Lupica.

Dear Aaron Schatz- I drafted Santonio Holmes way to high last year based on your projections and cursed your name as he put up 2, 3, and 4 points each week.

"ready to be got" is hillbilly for "hit a concrete wall with the force of being launched from a catapault."

@Kid Canada: As another longtime commenter, I agree with everything my eloquent Canuck friend here has said. So I will simply reiterative his sentiment - WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE VOTE FOR BARBARO AND SAS. NOTHING IN MY WORLD WOULD MAKE ME HAPPIER THEN THEIR ENSHRINEMNT AND I HAVE A WIFE AND KID AND…

@Stev D: +94.7 Fresh FM - Today's Fresh Music! Next up, The Fray, with their latest single, "Unappreciated Wideout."

Deford looks like a cross between Alex Trebek and Vincent Price - and is just as creepy as you'd expect a cross Trebek and Price to be.

He wears glasses and didn't fuck in high school? He is JUST LIKE ME!!!!

Though it developed a cult following, XTC's follow up single, "Willie Watermelonhead" just never caught on in socialist Canada.