Oy

Excellent.

Several of those would also make very good porn nicknames.

@DeepFriar: I believe Cooley already knows this. This is Wife #2, right?

@David Hume: No need for potty mouth!

Wait, is the kid any good?

He can't go to the health center and grab a fistful from the free condom basket like the rest of us did?

Mordechai's down to two fingers?

@VTBen: To be fair, his legs are only about 27. His lungs, on the other hand, are 60.

@The Sports Hernia: I think it was the rising cost of mustache rides.

My dad would send me his Sunday MLB columns when I was at summer camp. I miss the 'stache.

I would also like to see Fatty's resignation letter - Virginia Rappe

C'mon hurricane season...

Mr. Tony will always be a proud newspaperman but this is not shocking. As he likes to say "[those] fingers no longer type."

Flibbity Flobbity Flue

So did you bang the hooker?

Ryan Howard is on pace for 220 strikeouts this year, if that coke habit doesn't sideline him first.

no, yes

Prostate exams for everyone!

Afterwards, these lady horses are forced to have sex with different men horses they don't know that well so they can become pregnant only for their baby to be taken away