I hate Diamondbacks. I hate 'em!

That song needs Paul Anka's guarantee

Davey Lopes approves.

Casper, the dopest ghost.

How will this affect the value of his Upper Deck rookie card we all have?

That's nothing compared to what happened at the Sexual Predators in Action facility just down the road.

@the sieve: No we're not. But we're not alone.

@HebrewHammer: One lucky fan will get to "Show me on the doll where he touched you!"

Oooh, she's going to HATE Crazy Cat Lady Night on August 20.

Did Palmeiro wag his finger and adamanly deny that he slept with Sandberg's wife?

Milbank dodged my Ape-related question in his chat today! At least he posted it. It's the least I can do for you Xmas Ape. It's also the most.

Who doesn't know that they live within 16 miles of Leavenworth??

@Weed Against Speed: Yeah, what you said.

@shea_guevara: I bet McCain uses the term slanty more often than any of us think.

Now I'll never know what Obama thinks about Simmons' West Coast AL-only fantasy team. How am I supposed to judge this man's views now?

@Laser Guided: I'd say this whole series needs more Zeke Mowatt.

@Little Lebowski Urban Achievers: Wouldn't the altar boys be the ones with the bobbleheads in that situation?

I buried a talis in the foundation at Nationals Park. Shhh.

@DennyCrane: Tomorrow's column will bring you Mickey Cochrane's reaction attending Thursday's game.

@shea_guevara: As a die-hard and fully partisan Phililes fan, I can absolutely make a definitive statement about that.