Hot take alert:

Would you look at that...Marlon Wayans is still alive!

It’s nice to see an underdog catch a break for once...

The zero fucks given by the play-by-play couple is the highlight of this video!

Pineapple, black olive, and jalapeno is one of my favorite pizzas. The same sweet and salty balance, with a spicy kick.

I was on board with mushrooms until I saw this. Hot cherry peppers are a solid choice.

I’ve cut way back on the amount of meat I eat in the last couple years, particularly red meat. I usually reserve red meat for when I go out to eat now, which isn’t that often. I probably eat meat at breakfast once a month, meat at lunch once or twice a week, and meat at dinner four or five times a week, but it’s…

California.

This moron can’t even pronounced “Yosemite” and he’s out here calling other people dumb?

I was waiting in the drive thru with friends on an extremely hot summer day and it was taking an inordinately long time for everyone to get their food for some reason. Guy in the car in front of us hopped out, jumped the chain link fence between the Taco Bell and the hotel next door, got in the pool, then climbed back…

I live in the downtown area of a major city and walk my daughters a little under a mile to school (well, we used to walk to school anyway). They have seen some shit (literally and figuratively) that many adults haven’t seen, but it’s certainly allowed us to have some very enlightening conversations...“Daddy, why is…

I have never felt more seen.

Wait...after further investigation, it appears that this is Lifehacker, not The Takeout (which makes sense...I was wondering what this had to do with food), so maybe we do kink shame around here...

We used to do crab that way (cover the whole table in newspaper, plates, etc.), but somehow that doesn’t feel gross the way watching them eat the nachos does. Maybe because we still sat around the table or because you have your own distinct crab so it feels less like sharing a single dish, but certainly you’re not…

Look...we don’t kink shame here at The Takeout.

I was fine with it until everyone started eating right over the table. Give everyone a plate and put some tongs and I’d be on board. I already do a scaled down version of this when I make nachos at home by making a giant batch on a cookie sheet.

I had a no-scalpel vasectomy nine years ago. I had mine on a Thursday and went for a fairly strenuous hike that Sunday with no problems and haven’t had any since. My doctor recommended waiting longer to have sex (or masturbate)...6-8 weeks if I remember correctly, which wasn’t a big deal since I had mine just a couple…

I throw my pint lid away as soon as I open it, so this will never work...

Brand social media is exhausting. Who follows these pages, and why? I don’t even have a Twitter account and my only social media is a Facebook account with about 100 friends who are actually close friends and family. The only pages I Follow are a couple of musicians who I try to see whenever they are playing locally,…