How does one belt out a mini-erection inducing ‘mashed potato’? I would like to try it out.

Mine was Ross Geller. Weird.

5th place finish sounds about right. But Group Stage exit in a group where we have Bayer, Monaco, and CSKA? We walk that group.

Pro Tip: Just let the packet dissolve in your mouth.

Amazing how far we have come since then.

Congrats! I’ve been posting for months and almost never get out of the pending comments. It’s discouraging.

Holy shit. Not using commas is already hard enough, but throwing them where ever you please is torture. I’m sorry, I’m not trying to be rude. I am actually very interested in what you meant to say, but literally cannot interpret this. Someone help?

It doesn’t have to be. Whether you’re a top prospect or not, these guys should at least be getting something approaching a livable wage. The minor league system is not an MLB charity. It benefits the major league club by goving them an environment to identify and develop the talent that will come up and make them…

Just be careful not to knock the egg off the pylon at the end.

As an owner I was subjected to so many LL jokes, I can honestly say I already know the struggle of a DeLorean owner without ever having had one...

One time I was making Al pastor tacos and cut into an avocado and there was a tiny thumbelina type creature with a whole little home in there! There was a little bed with a little quilt. And a tiny bookshelf with hundreds of titles. Even a little sewing machine! Thumbelina waved and began telling me about her magical…

Ileana Lochte: “Honey don’t you think you should make a statement about what occurred in Brazil?”

Any shame I might have at never being better at anything than Ryan Lochte is at swimming is somewhat mitigated by knowing I am way better at peeing on a gas station wall than he seems to be.

Just FYI, in the midst of the article you start citing a “Veloso”, but you never established in your article that that was the Police Chief’s name. I only know because I followed the link to the NYT article.

If you’re a high profile athlete in a foreign country trying to sneakily take a pair of local prostitutes to your room, the logical side would dictate that you don’t pause to piss all over a place that will likely have security cameras.

I’m assuming the Olympic are sucking up all the programming time — No Match of the Day, no Men In Blazers either. I NEED MY REBECCA LOWE FIX DAMMIT!

Too excited, went out like stink, died like a pig.

is Ted Cruz groping himself?
“...and the hooome of the...HHNNNNGG *tweaks nipple* bb-b-b-brraaaave...uuhhhhhhyeaaah”

I fucking refuse to stand during God Bless America at baseball games - I feel like it’s an affront to my right to hear “Take me out to the Ballgame” like a god damned TRUE American!