And the name is a Terry Pratchett discworld reference. I found it about 15 episodes ago and binged it.

Try this.

Whenever I went to a store that had a stuffed animal display, I would silently say “food, food, food, water, water, water” so I knew they were all taken care of. I was a silent stuffed zoo keeper. 

A respiratory illness can be passed through smear, but last I read they weren’t sure about this one

Hey there! I’m def not getting paid, just sharing the good word: Use Outline.com to get around paywalls. Copy link, paste, read to your hearts content!

Tim Vine joke - ‘Played a gig in Pompeii. Hard crowd.....’

In 2001 I was 11 years old. And all I wanted was a Gamecube.

I decided to download it illegally. If he can illegally drive across the country and put people’s lives in danger, I can certainly download his movie without him complaining about it. 

“Oh, you want me to cook dinner? You know what I want? I want our fucking job back, Chuck!”

First my thought. Coulter is a witch. I’m thinking this because the only people that we have seen that can survive more than a dozen feet from their Daemons are the witches.

I guarantee you this is one of her videos.

They neglected to buy a vehicle with a reliable transmission. 

Yeah, that’s definitely a picture of a sunbathing asshole.

Seven? I’ve only got two Grammies, Grammy June and Ethel.

I don’t think the driver of the Subaru ever saw the Italian Job. And I’m damn sure she didn’t see the trailer.

You seem to know how most Fiats work though. 

When I worked for one of the big type houses in my home town, I was told over and over again how important it was to dress in costume for Halloween because the owner really liked it. It was mentioned repeatedly, starting in September, by everyone - managers, QCers, proofers, everyone. So I made sure come in costume as…

This was during later college years, so later 80's. Went to a house party of a friend of the person I was dating. We went as Zombie Jackie O and Dead Kennedy (always fond of Halloween costume puns). As DJFK, I had fake blown out brains and blood on the side of my head, and wore a cheap consignment shop suit in which I…

Whenever one spends 32k on anything other than a house, one’s first question should be “could this possibly get me laid?” And in this case the answer is no.

Idk, but congrats on getting offended first :P