Seems like the perfect time for our acappella group The Jizzebelles to reunite.

I hope you’re referring to him considering her net worth is higher.

This will ensure any woman who considers reporting a sexual assault remains in her terrified silence for all eternity.

Next best thing!

a backdoor pilot for Kris and Scott Take Calabasas.

all your see thru pants, in a box to the left.

Nope, they’re silicone. Not sure how you missed that in the arti....wait

Excellent use of Pantone’s Palette for 2016 (Rose Quartz and Serenity) in the background behind that lady.

hot take:

Let’s just start this day like

Your opinions are steaming hot garbage, marinated in raw sewage.

Because the people saying “all lives matter” don’t actually believe that. “All lives matter” is another way of saying “stop paying attention to black people’s problems”.

This. This also applies to you #bluelivesmatter d*cks too. Cops have always mattered.

Isn’t being black disrespectful to police? That’s my takeaway from the fox news coverage I haven’t watched. I feel very lucky to live north of the 49th; so much easier to avoid fb nonsense.

I also got that she was “dressed like a slut” and it was “inappropriate for children”. People are so fucking afraid of a woman with thighs, I swear to god....

Seriously. The amount of white friends who I’ve personally had tell me a combination of how horrible the song is/how the lyrics mean nothing/how it’s unlistenable/how Beyonce doesn’t understand what she’s doing/how unimpressed they were/casually forgot Beyonce is black is depressing.

That’s the joke. It’s funny specifically because it is a self-aware subversion of a misogynistic (and, one could argue, racist) standard. And because Colin Jost is in on the joke. It would not be funny if she was making real, unscripted overtures that surprised Jost and made him uncomfortable.

That is a goddamn lie. Everyone cares about my boner. Or my...like...slip n slide? I don’t know. Women deserve a word for their boners too.

I tried to scream, but I was eating biscotti so I choked. Are you trying to kill me with your brilliance?