They need to do this for Los Angeles, pronto, and I need to write it. The Ivy, the TMZ tour, hollywood and highland, all are ripe for lampooning and Puppets. Preferably puppets with very big collagen filled lips.

Look, I am sorry, but when Beverly Hills housewives have poles IN THEIR bedroom, (seen way too many of them.....) this shit starts to be unsexy.

Negroni's are the one and only affair you had on a trip to Africa. It was sweaty and furtive and you think about it sometimes because it can still get you off.

Martini's are that older, kind of unattractive boyfriend who you really can't resist because he can talk about both Dorothy Parker AND Anais Nin, drives a super cool car from the forties and collect art Deco cigarette holders and swizzle sticks.

Irish Coffee's are the man you swore you only liked as a friend, but he's so comforting and nice, you sleep with him anyway. And maybe you even fall in love.

Grappa is the European boyfriend you first let tie you up.

Guinness is that outdoorsy guy who can actually quote Irish poetry when he's had a few. But ONLY when he's had a few.

Boones Farm is the guy in high school you first let feel you up in the back seat of his Chevy Nova, while Led Zeppelin played.

It's a terrible thing when I have to choose between being informed with what is going on in my country and having high blood pressure and a high chance of a stroke, or remaining ignorant in healthful calm stupidity.

Clearly you are not aware of this masterpiece of the genre.....

I filled up on pasta in the 80's. I want polenta. Is that gay or straight?

Does this also explain the absence of Pauly Shore movies? I have never felt so grateful for being a big pinko commie liberal.

One of the any great gifts you get being older (Besides not caring what anyone thinks of you....) is knowing that as many people are married in the world, as many ways there are to be married. Everybody has to define what it means for themselves. Only the young and immature decide think they know what is right for…

Well, it's certainly better then the imaginary boyfriend who stole all your underwear.

Well, it's certainly better then the imaginary boyfriend who stole all your underwear.

You left out the enthusiastic wave that turns into a cringe when you realize you don't REALLY know the person coming toward you.

I still have dreams that I am trapped into working there. I think it just took me back to 6th grade mean girl stuff...ie all talk stops when you enter a room, finding out there is a party everyone has been invited to, but not you....etcetc..

The are stopping benefits to the most disenfranchised because they refuse to acknowledge a LAW that provides care for the disenfranchised. And quite a few of the voters for these people were these very disenfranchised. But it's all Obama.....Oh, America, it's hard to love you sometimes.....

I thought the government shutdown meant no military, social security or news about Kanye. Was I wrong? Who needs to be shutdown for this to happen?

I thought the government shutdown meant no military, social security or news about Kanye. Was I wrong? Who needs to be shutdown for this to happen?