Getting hit by a bus is fine, but I prefer getting hyped on gummy bears and then twitter screaming at Jim Spanfeller and Paul Maidment because fuck those cowardly pieces of ignorant pig shit. Of course, it’s easier for me to refer to your idiot overlords as the money-wasting pieces of human trash they so pathetically…

Getting hit by a bus means you won’t need Xanax.

Woah, man! It’s like time keeps on slippin, slippin, slippin, into the future.  

Prior to joining the team, he worked for Ernst & Young

... just look for MAGA paraphernalia around the office.

Deserves more suns.

Your sediment is not appreciated.

In every photo of him, all I see is Don Jr.

I suggested Iron Maiden, which was dubbed too metal-y. Metallica kinda fits in the same vein for most of their good stuff. 

Not only is this guy a complete and total shithead...this situation has me rooting for the <looks around....whispers> the Nationals.

LOL too late, fuckers. The baseball gods are displeased and I hope you’re unceremoniously dispatched by the Nats ASAP. 

If I wasn’t so sedimentary, I’d take exception to your metamorphic synopsis.

Metamorphic being the one with the most cross-generational appeal

The most classic rock is igneous.

to be fair I’m a married dad and I’m pretty pissed off about that omission. 

I know that things on the internet can get pretty heated and a lot of people say things they don’t really mean because they are protected by the cloak of anonymity, so I want you to understand how sincere I am when I say I hope you die in a fire.

Alright, let me just say this once so everyone knows the truth: just because something is complex and difficult, doesn’t mean it sounds good. I guess what I’m trying to say is that STEELY DAN SUCKS SHIT

Croll Tried!

“I am not as comfortable with this one as the last one.”