But gyms, doctors’ offices, bar, and public places won’t ever get included in the Nielsen system. They only include personal homes.

That is possible. Nielsen can't tell if someone's sitting there watching (or awake), just that it's on.

It is remarkable how few Americans really are in the Fox News cult. Considering the obvious fact that most of those viewer numbers are duplicated as they just leave the TV on all morning, it’s less than one percent of Americans.

mmmmmBUUUUUUUUUL *inhales deeply* SHEEEEEEIIIIIIIITTT-ah

that’s some laser-focused dog coverage, sir

I still can’t believe the Tony the Tiger Sun Bowl is going to happen

Gotta be honest, your rankings ain’t bad

...of course she can’t dunk a regulation basketball at regulation height. Were you being serious? She’s tiny and has tiny hands. She’d have to two-hand the dunk  AND have something like a 60-inch vert.

Drew, I can’t believe you’ve never been to a Brazilian steakhouse. Dude, get your ass to a Brazilian steakhouse! Make it your next Father’s Day or birthday meal or whatever. THEN GORGE

with enough LSD, they can

I am absolutely going to try this next week. Thank you!

if Devlin MacGregor is responsible for the clogging of Smith-Schuster’s routes, y’know what would clear them right out?

Actually, Pam is the worst. 

just FYI, lifeguarding SUCKS now. They have to do all these mandated weird-ass constant head movements and station shifting and saving kids’ lives and it is NOT AS COOL nowadays.

“Great article.”

actually, this feels like more of an Arby’s moment

uh, if it’s trickling out then they’re not getting drunk, DUHHHHHHH

At least the 2019 Cardinals are forever ending this looney self-delusion that the St. Louis franchise is somehow the classiest in all of baseball. They’re a No Fear t-shirt drenched in Keystone Light at a Trump rally.

there’s literally a drawerful of European Sudafed on the right side in the background of the infamous “I love Hispanics!” tweet pic.

anyway, here’s Wonderkrater