I'm not that picky an eater, but the author managed to crowd two of the only foods I loathe on that "kids" plate: olives and sardines. The only thing that's missing is oysters and capers.

At first, yeah.

All in attendance get a free ear.

Because you have to live every week like it's "Jump the Shark Week."

I . . . . . . . . I

Vroom. Vroom. Trucky make big noise for Donny. Uncle Vladdy says Donny gets to play fireman during recess if he finishes all his ice cream.

"Made in America," just like Ivanka Trump's clothing line . . . oh wait.

Great, now Steven Colbert is going to have to buy a Wax David Rice Atchison.

If price is determined by wax content, you could probably get Wax James Madison for $800.

Wax James Garfield comes with a set of wax doctors who kill him looking for a wax bullet.

He's a Van Buren Boy.

Fill out this DMX-1040 form, and then wait in line for the first available tax examiner. Next!

The Melbourne Identity

Where's Bango, Bongo and Irving?

This was right after he dated Squeaky Fromme.

Jimmy's new in Paris. Jimmy doesn't really know anyone.

Kompromat? Compromised.

Dumb
Ass
Republican
Elf

When I was a kid, we used to play table football, in which you'd try to flick a triangular paper football through a goalpost of pencils. Some junior delinquent had inserted a needle, sharp side up, into a paper football, where it was nearly invisible. Apparently, the asshole was luring kids into playing a game in…

Daltrey and Townshend are getting up there in years, so naturally they're concerned.