“I was diagnosed with esophagitis after an antibiotic horse pill prescribed by a dermatologist got lodged in my esophagus and burned it.”

Remember to always ignore the advice of people who are: 1) older than you, and, B) in better shape (as they “accidentally” wind up that way). If one’s personal philosophy is “YOLA” then join a fucking sorority. Here we go...

Err... I understand you and your supa-pal both got perfect skizzors on the testy-testy but you linked to a video which requires having an existing cable account with a cable company to get access to see it (or the option of: wait a week... and never watch it as the bloom will be sufficiently off the rose by then).

So... basically switching from their formerly 100-percent buzzword-compatible business model of storing donkey pr0n in the cloud to their newly devised 100-percent buzzword-compatible business model of backing-up donkey pr0n in the cloud.

Hmm... this is all soooo faux meta. It depends on who owns the monkey (srsly). It’s technically chattel and thus it’s the property of the Tangkoko Batuangus Nature Reserve (and in turn, Indonesia) any rights to the photo would belong to them as they /own/ the monkey.

Thanks for sharing all of this with us. Normally people splash the above paragraphs all over Facebook so they can enjoy some peanut butter and jealous.

Is “kids” the new term for Millennials? I thought it was Snake People. Anyway, it would be el fantastico if those gosh darn
“kids” knew how to do half of these things.

The correct term for money paid to shill something while pretending you’re not getting paid to shill it is: payola.

Good thing Faraday Future cars will have built in aromatherapy (not kidding... really not making that one up) as the entire deal (Nevada spending US$335-million in tax breaks/public funding to lock in a manufacturing facility for a car that doesn’t even have a working prototype) smells like shit.

It’s actually too soon. The critical statement is that Brodsky will “file a civil suit against LeGrier’s estate in a couple of weeks”. The complaint (the suit), in and of itself, hasn’t been filed so there’s no summons to respond to (yet).

Drew Peterson eventually turned on his defense attorney, Joel Brodsky, and filed a motion (spring of 2015) for a new trial after his conviction (and 38-year sentence) as he felt Brodsky spent more time seeking fame and fortune (Peterson and Brodsky had worked out some sort of deranged media deal together [which…

It’s a torpedo move. By filing the suit against LeGrier’s “estate” LeGrier’s family will have to expend whatever amount of time/energy/financial resources fighting it. It’s a civil suit so if LeGrier’s family fails to fight it Rialmo basically wins by default. As LeGrier’s family will most likely get a hefty wrongful…

As Patton is a professional politician and can’t seek another term for the 24th in the Ohio Senate due to term limits his only option is to run in the 7th (this is how the guy earns his bread-and-butter; if he doesn’t get elected he has to wander off the field of play and be a lobbyist which, though better paying,…

And for “dessert”: 30-seconds of passionate grunting followed by loud snoring.

So... 1,542-words (8,912-characters) to say:

Want to scare the modern American? Begin your paragraph with:

My tech bag has a slip of paper with the words, “Gone until Tuesday. Call my assistant” on it.

Fifty shades of entitlement. I get you.

I look at these posts and then I mutter, “Damn. There really is a single helix.”

“Awesome”. Someone telling me how much they love HotPockets /and/ Fallout 4 just became one-touch easy for them.