So... More Jaden Smith moobies. And...

Oh... you and your music.

It’s Tennessee. There’s “snake handling” and “snake handling”. If they could, for once, spell out the difference, then there would be no “relentless media agenda.”

“Why do I have these sores all over my lips?” said another.

I never learned how to drive.

Whoa... whoa... whoa. Chelsea Handler had a talk show for seven years?

Because “bat shit crazy” wasn’t gettin’ the love.

Because in 1986 everyone was fucking sick of going to see Cats.

So... fundamentally: By Tweeting during jury duty you’re not really paying attention to somebody else’s possible life wrecking situation.

I used to put “Wired Magazine wrote articles about me four times” but then I realized that only interns plowed through the resumes.

The best dates I’ve ever had have been due to a “cute bump” at the grocery store, ASKED FOR THE DATE, and then noticed their entire cart is full of turkey basters, plastic bags and ten-cans of cake frosting.

According to Hemingway’s classic, “I Write Because I Don’t Really Give a Fuck and Scotch Costs Money” any time a writer pens the words:

He sounds like a dream boat. Dinner, drinks and then he drops you off at your place so he can get right home and “autocomplete”.

Wow... it only took YouTube ELEVEN-YEARS to add a clickety-clickety so people could LOOP videos.

I use AdBlock for no other reason than if I’m trapped at 2.5-gig due to the data plan on my (tethered) phone then I /also/ get to decide if I want ads delivered to me.

A bird tattoo is something all the young people have these days. Which I guess you’re not. Which makes this sub-thread more than slightly ironic.

Ha ha. You’re a delight. The only difference between you and your bird tattoo is your bird tattoo is straight.

If I had a desperate need to pee in a pre-pee’d chair the library would be way up on my list (it’s 1.5-blocks away). I’d simply like to do Internet shit with the Internet connection that I bought from the Internet company.

Celebrities “do that” (donate bottled water in this instance) as a marketing promotion for the companies they’re involved with (under contract; paid by). Under the guise of false humility for making the donation the goal is that you’ll purchase the product in the future. In the (likely) event of human misery somewhere…

Originally the /proposed/ intent was to save US$5-million over two-years by switching from an existing clean water system to using the HIGHLY CORROSIVE Flint River (which is basically acid rain in river form). So far it’s poisoned nearly 12,000 residents of Flint, mostly children (meaning: the going rate for poisoning…