I’m more excited about the upcoming wave of “college experimental phase” sex crime accusations which are just around the corner. 

You could take the average fast food employee, stuff their pockets with dolla dolla bills and then wrap them in a burlap sack (to prevent accidental “sexiness”) and they’d still be terrible at their jobs.

Hmm. I look at the photos of these guys and I’m 100-percent certain I could make a better man out of the contents of the nearest dumpster. I had no idea that Etsy sold handcrafted, 100-percent free range Angora “scowl eyebrows”. The only difference between these idiots and Hitler is Hitler had more than zero…

Oh... It’s 1994 and CUSeeMe is a thing again.

Hmm. I sneak a smoke because Stephanie continues to smell like fifty flavors of feline leukemia.

Typical bogans. They misspelled, “Project Cheapskate.”

And if you eat of any of it you’ll want to make the “Kessel Run” in 12 fart-secs.

Your list fails to mention “The Young Peoples”. Around a gazillion years ago a friend of mine would creep into his twelve-year old daughter’s room, sneak up next to her bed... and grab her iPod. Then dump her playlist while we drank beer and smoked the not beer. Pure new sounds. Sadly, children eventually become old…

“900-1800 hours (23 to 45 full-time weeks)“ which pays off handsomely if you have the appropriately slightly bent noggin allowing a person to /creatively/ code. For the rest of the Otherkins FURtran exists for a reason.  

“I’m a special and unique individual who can achieve anything once I set my mind to it.” Review list of anythings achieved. Ignore the zero (haters!). Remind oneself that the coffee isn’t going to serve itself. Win!

Why even move to California if one can’t be faux-raged at all the things all the faux-constantly?

People own multiple cats for a reason. Just getting that out there.

Start here: Men only chase the girls who want to be caught. Srsly.

Next we’ll find out that he didn’t deliver gifts during the Viet Nam War.

Err... is the outrage that Putin secretly influenced an American presidential election and that type of behavior is normally reserved for multinational corporations?

Whew (wipes brow)... luckily it was only a fake hate crime. In other instances a fake situation like this can quickly fake escalate into a fake rape depending on the fake attackers and fake circumstances.

But but but... Sapphire really does need to eat non-GMO whole-packing peanut free range guavacado spread infused with non-gluten no kill adderall or she (and her ilk) might realize what a shitty, completely unskilled, non-adult human being she actually is. Srsly... how do you expect her (and, again, her ilk) to keep…

Suddenly you make Magic Leap’s claims of being 100-percent buzzword-compatible sound like a bad thing.

Trump’s America is the kind of place which grays-out people’s comments. Hint hint.

Err... you totally left out the part about how if you pay with cash the bartender gets their tips /that night/ rather than waiting until the following Tuesday or Wednesday as credit card tips have to first pass through a clearinghouse and then get posted out as cash or onto a check.