Because in 1986 everyone was fucking sick of going to see Cats.

So... fundamentally: By Tweeting during jury duty you’re not really paying attention to somebody else’s possible life wrecking situation.

In the “Days Gone By” we called that CUSeeMe but anything more than five-minutes old is bogus.

I used to put “Wired Magazine wrote articles about me four times” but then I realized that only interns plowed through the resumes.

The best dates I’ve ever had have been due to a “cute bump” at the grocery store, ASKED FOR THE DATE, and then noticed their entire cart is full of turkey basters, plastic bags and ten-cans of cake frosting.

Lego? Google Glass would’ve been brilliant if they had released their “Here’s Where Her Goddamn Clitoris is Located” app. Keeping in mind that Jar Jar Binks and the female reproductive system both look the same,

According to Hemingway’s classic, “I Write Because I Don’t Really Give a Fuck and Scotch Costs Money” any time a writer pens the words:

Bad weather happened in New York (the Tri-State area). The Earth must now stop spinning on its axis so that the rest of the world’s population may pause and reflect on this.

Hmm... you’re overlooking the key aspect of classic old school channel surfing: Serendipity. An extension like OttoPlay increases the chances of finding something (vaguely) worthwhile to watch (there’s an element of randomness) rather than the drill-through catalog method (as it rapidly becomes apparent that /nothing/…

Did Chris Carter remember to mention that at no point will any of the “mythology” wrap up and give the audience a conclusion? [As in: wrap all the shit up finally? Just... you know... give it all an ending?]

He sounds like a dream boat. Dinner, drinks and then he drops you off at your place so he can get right home and “autocomplete”.

Wow... it only took YouTube ELEVEN-YEARS to add a clickety-clickety so people could LOOP videos.

Bing?

I use AdBlock for no other reason than if I’m trapped at 2.5-gig due to the data plan on my (tethered) phone then I /also/ get to decide if I want ads delivered to me.

A bird tattoo is something all the young people have these days. Which I guess you’re not. Which makes this sub-thread more than slightly ironic.

Apple tried to stick its own search engine into iOS but every time someone would attempt a search it would respond with, “your answer has to come from within, you dirty hippy.”

Ha ha. You’re a delight. The only difference between you and your bird tattoo is your bird tattoo is straight.

If I had a desperate need to pee in a pre-pee’d chair the library would be way up on my list (it’s 1.5-blocks away). I’d simply like to do Internet shit with the Internet connection that I bought from the Internet company.

Okay... just to make sure... I’m in my early 50s and I’m supposed to toss out US$59 for a device that allows me to listen to 8-bit arcade-style “music” and there’s no cocaine involved? And... during the 80s... as video game music sucked (on toast) I would listen to my Walkman II (cassettes.. oh so “retro”). I’m…

Hmm... my money is on the Participation Trophy hypothesis in which an intelligent species overindulges their young to the point that in the event of a possible cataclysm that might be more than five-minutes in the future is insurmountable as it would involve /not/ snapping a picture of the artisanal latte with an…