I’ll be the first to admit I don’t know where the humor starts and the sincerity ends in this loopy ass article. But, guys, let’s not get married at Christmas and expect to feel the specialist ever. If we have to get married at Christmas because we love Christmas, then we already understand that Christmas comes first.

You are not wrong.

Oh, no, she told me. I would tell my aunt all about it and she wouldn’t ruin it for me but she’d scold my mom, who didn’t care. “Little kids are so fun! They’ll believe anything!” I have no regrets.

That my mother was a magical princess. That all of her old ‘80s bridesmaid dresses were her old princess getup. That she had a crystal ball to keep tabs on us when she was at work. I was very, very touched and inspired that she “married down” for love, and admired her magnanimous toleration of her pushy mother-in-law…

It’s already hilarious, can’t wait.

You're on to something

Right?! The most recent incident I’m thinking of is a horror story involving a group of 26 year old college friends at a wedding. I repeat: 26 YEARS OLD.

Legitimately upsetting because of racism. Stupid because when I hear of groups trashing rentals it’s usually entitled, predominantly white, young adults. (Anecdotal but still.)

Pretty Pretty Princess. The greatest board game of all time. I've never been more happy. I wanted it so badly, the Easter bunny brought it to me. Hid it in the bathtub. Greatest moment of my life.

Thank GOD we have a little extra now after defunding women’s health clinics or else wasting our taxpayer $$s on institutions that propagate hate and discrimination would really bug me.

I hear a lot about this book and the claim that this is happening and I know a good number of people who think this makes Good Sense but I know very few people who actually...make this work. I mean, the “open relationships” I peripherally witness don’t last too long and they each tend to go back to bopping around on…

my picture of Simon Cowell is now complete, cruel, perfect

so he is going to find her less attractive once she has given birth? HOW VERY PROGRESSIVE john legend you monster

too much salt, i bet they put franks red hot on everything

i used to be this way/have integrity but now i go through great trouble to foil autocorrect’s capitalization and skimp on punctuation to seem sincere oh god am i a sociopath

I hereby petition to rename the Shirley Temple the Jerry Mathers

(1) no such thing as a bad feminist! Sort of (2) I (maybe too generously?) read the tone of this article as group-self-deprecation (3) joking about alcohol consumption is insensitive but also this made me laugh

It’s kind of disappointing how many 20th century macho male writers were pseudo-brilliant.

I LOLed @“we protest around Cambridge and Somerville.” Silly tomato.

WHAT