“Whenever my children complain about the planet to me, I say ‘Shut up, I just got here myself’.” -Kurt Vonnegut

No no no, dig up, stupid.

My mother, after years of me having only a ratty looking Tiki Barber jersey, decided to get me a new one for Christmas. She bought in November to make sure she had it on hand.

Imagine you go to school to become an architect. You work your balls off and end up as one of the very top architecture students in all the land. You’re very much coveted by all of the biggest and best architecture firms. Then you’re told that because of the rules, you’ll be selected to work for the crappiest…

All these trades have allowed the Mets to promote their shortstop of the future and first baseman of the future, as well as clearing a log jam in the outfield to let their future franchise player and a possible future starter play. They’re saving money that they can spend on a third baseman and a corner outfielder…

Good for him. That’s all I’ve got. Everybody deserves a good day every once in a while.

Whole Foods?! You don’t go to Bloomfield Avenue with the commoners! You get in the Volvo and drive to the Kings in Verona, as generations did before you.

I’m a proud Montclair native today. The Communists will surely be abuzz about this one in the bread line (at Whole Foods).

Counter-counterpoint: No it isn’t. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads - they all adore it. They think it’s a righteous food.

The Washington plate isn’t as embarrassing as the Patriots plate.

He was distracted by thinking about whether he needed to buy 3 different Father’s Day gifts since technically they’re all for the same guy.

Bob’s Burgers did it first.

1. Mr.

Everyone needs to calm down about this. Mr. Met only has four fingers . . . he is the JPP of mascots! . . . he is incapable of giving anyone the middle finger because he doesn’t have one to give.

http://dontknockmysmock.com/, truly one of the internet’s most valuable resources.

You never know.

I totally get you on the mixed feelings from watching Chef’s Table. I watched the first six episodes with a mix of relish over the food (and the way it’s filmed) and disgust over the sociopaths making it (Niki Nakayama excepted).

I never thought I’d say this, but let’s get some more snooker stories up in here.

Matt Harvey’s next start