Counterpoint: Fuck Chase Utley.

I have another good door story.

“HE LOOKED MOWA LIKE ‘STATEN ISLAND’ CUZ HE WAS GAHBAGE!”

Bombastic

Sadly, not the first bridge/water to suffer structural damage in Minnesota.

That’s what happens when you wear cheap hotel pants. What’re cheap hotel pants? They have no ball room.

I thought that about Shea. It’s not Shea anymore, even fellow Queens natives give me a face when I try.

If you insist on recognizing the official name, you could still shorten it to “The Gary”

Let it be known that Dave McKenna’s contributions to this in Slack were the puns “Knoblauch that kick!” and “Shankiel.”

That’s ridiculous. An AL team would never sacrifice bundt.

It was observed to me the other day that the list of position players that the Mets have on the DL right now (Cespedes-Wright-Duda-Cabrera-Reyes-Lagares) are the best players on the team. With the possible exception of Neil Walker (and, I guess, the new guy they got from Cincy - Jeromy Burnitz or whatever), I think…

LET’S DO THIS!

Kitchen sink: [falls off, shatters]

At the Copa...Copacabana.

I live in Jersey and there’s a staggering amount of people I know who are Cowboys fans. They proceed, every football season, to get in arguments online with Giants fans.

“I was walking by a dry cleaner at 3 a.m., and it said, ‘Sorry, we’re closed.’ You don’t have to be sorry. It’s 3 a.m., and you’re a dry cleaner. It would be ridiculous for me to expect you to be open. I’m not gonna walk by at 10 a.m. and say ‘Hey, I walked by at 3, you guys were closed. Someone owes me an apology.…

SUFJAN DAY IS THE BEST DAY.

“Copy Cat” The Bar-Kays

Bartolo Colon is the only true and righteous sportsman on the planet.