This is the part where you say something crazy like “I make candy corn sandwiches using Necco wafers as bread”

I STAND BY MY CORRECT TAKE THAT THEY ARE NASTY. I HAVE VERY STRONG OPINIONS REGARDING CANDY.

Your opinion is wrong and I’m embarrassed for you.

Dogs seem to like the taste of earwax.

Haaahahah. And ew, dogs are so weird

oh those are so good. the dogs get so crazy they can’t even contain it.

You guys do know I’m right here, right? Hi!

I have zero time for handwringing about these guys. Should they be able to have a basic standard of living and one or two people who enjoy them enough to keep in touch? Sure. I’m willing to engage in some advocacy on behalf of poor sex offenders in that vein. Everyone listed already has that, though.

I once thought my mom was pregnant, but she wasn’t. Even as a little kid it was awkward.

I dunno, I think she just has that IDGAF vibe but doesnt come across as being a turd about it either.

FFS, she bit your head off, dude. No means no.

I recommend this article:

this! more like most bloated blake shelton...

True story= you can be both ugly and sexy. However, Blake is neither. So.

Well, to be fair, 2017 HAS been a pretty shitty year, so... sure, why not?

“She goes, ‘Listen to me, you’re going to regret this for the rest of your life if you don’t take this gift and just live in the moment.”

Yeah, I’ll also take Ben’s proposal over Jim’s. And I love their vows:

I love how much these people love each other. Timothy Simons and Tony Hale did a video for her last round, too, and it’s adorable.

Kirk Douglas was apparently a real monster. And there was talk that Ryan O’Neill assaulted Drew Barrymore when she was a child. That was the last straw in his pile of utter dickbaggery because the Barrymores are Hollywood royalty.

David Cross needs to stop. He’s actually a brilliant comedian, but also a complete asshole. How hard would it have been to say, ”Charlene, I don’t remember saying racist things to you, but I know it’s possible. Often, I am an asshole. I appreciate your letting me know how remarks I think of as off-hand can really…