Is he saying that all this could have been avoided with a participation trophy, a round of applause and a complimentary pussy-grab back in September 2015? Because that’s kinda what I’m hearing.

I’ll have to go find my tiny violin.

Aww, Donny, are you having a rough day? Do you need a nap before you have to put on your big boy pants and GOVERN THE FUCKING COUNTRY LIKE AN ADULT?

I went to a different private elementary school in Brookline, one that did not do shitty things to disabled children. When my school had a deaf student, they had his interpreter give sign language lessons to his entire class. Because if your lesson plan does not include disabled children, it is a shitty lesson plan.

Was it grape? I bet it was grape. Haterade has a lot of sugar; that’s probably keeping you up at night. Try to stop drinking it a few hours before you want to fall asleep.

Bootstraps! She wants all this special treatment when really she just needs to buck up and pull herself up by her bootstraps like the rest of us!

“While we appreciated that the family offered to provide certain accommodations, the school concluded that Harper required additional accommodations that would have fundamentally altered our educational model.”

This drives me crazy. Our good friends have a son with SMA. He skypes in to class and goes in a few days a month to the classroom.

WTF is that parking....

You mean a private school that’s flush with cash didn’t do the right thing to accommodate a student with above-average aptitude?

Okay so the school “concluded that Harper required additional accommodations that would have fundamentally altered our educational model.”

I don’t see a reason to get pissed at people who want to pay for private school, as long as they pay their part for public school. More money for public schools to put towards the other kids.

Only if that $billion is to be taken out of a public school district serving a minority population. Please keep priorities in order.

In related news, Betsy DeVos just announced that $1 billion in federal funding will now go to Park School.

Flynn and Sean Spicer are both from Rhode Island. This is more embarrassing than the time Buddy Cianci ran a winning mayoral campaign from prison.

This is all well and good but what I want to know is how Flynn feels about Dippin Dots. Are they the future?

It’s not treason, it’s Alternative Loyalty.

“This is all a big witch hunt. The only reason that the CIA is investigating Flynn is because I called them a bunch of Nazis a week ago and then didn’t apologize for calling them Nazis when I spent half an hour talking about how great I am in front of a wall listing the names of CIA operatives who died in the line of…

Don’t worry, folks. The incoming national security adviser has determined that Flynn is not a threat to national security and that the investigation should be dropped. Instead, the entire staff of the CIA is going to be flown to Benghazi to continue with the investigation.

It was probably a mistake to list Vladimir Putin as a Reference.