He's now well-qualified to be ordained in the Archdiocese of Boston.

Stair daggers would encourage more elevator use.

• “ENTERTAINING GUESTS BY INSERTING THE WOODEN LEG OF A CHAIR INTO HIS RECTUM”

He’s in the right here. It was a fixed arbitration that was a back-end deal between MLB and the Nats after they had to bend to Angelos’ legit market loss if/when the Expos moved to DC. Basically, they thought they could back out of the cable deal later with some arcane argument that the O’s would obviously never…

Yeah they’re totally stealing signs. This was their plan in the Texas series: hit like shit the first two games AT HOME to throw everyone off the scent, go to Texas but bring the centre field guy and set him up in centre field THERE so he can steal signs and you can pound the piss out of the ball, then go back to…

I’m confident that Matt Williams will handle this perfectly.

I’m no expert and I couldn’t see his lips, but I’m pretty sure it was “I’m having an MVP season and you’re a clubhouse cancer and a mediocre pitcher who helped hand the Mets the division.”

because it’s important to tell people who like MacFarlane that they have bad taste.

Thanks, Deadspin, but we already know that Indians always win the Spelling Bees

It looks like the internet’s opinion is Split.

I had to try and explain why they were playing in an empty stadium to several people today. This post would have saved me a lot of time.

Pro tip: When the ump asks “What’s that on your arm?” you don’t look where the foreign substance is. You look at the other arm and say “What are you talking about?”

nb4 “We hit into triple plays the right way.”

First of all, this is the best article ever! Dick webs! Fusty boomer pissbaby! Although I wish I hadn’t read the part where David Brooks used the word “sexiness” in reference to a seder, because what the hell kind of seders are you going to, Brooks? I have been to a lot of seders (53 1/2) and there was never the…

Reminder: Josh Hamilton Is Still Out Here Doing Dope, Baseball Things

Holy crap. I clicked on the video and knew exactly where she is at (sign me up to be an investigative reporter, ESPN. I have a college degree, am in good shape, have all my teeth, and live in an apartment). Before everyone absolutely rags on Britt here, let me play devil’s advocate for just one second.

I was kind of on the fence about him before I saw this, but now I have my mind made up.