I, too, wish I was a little bit taller.

Tough to be an MLB pitching coach when you refuse to work with lefties.

Brewers fan here.

I wanted him to respect the game & respect me as a veteran player.

I was gonna suck my thumb, but I got high

Could have been worse- usually when a Colombian ends up 80 kilos short, his whole family gets murdered.

If they finish this entire game before 2025, I’ll buy a fucking collectors edition.

You can’t, even in your cabin in the woods, you’ll still find those “many blood sucking creatures”.

“You can just throw them out of windows??”

Just be glad she didn’t order a Coldcut, Unpasteurized cheese, No Tomato.

Odd, that’s been the Cubs’ strategy for most of the past century.

Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between real life and The Onion.

Adam Vinatieri was never drafted...

Your lack of Take 5 is disappointing. They’re likely second only to full size Reece’s cups. 

Sure, September 11th.  Probably no one will do or say anything disgusting on that specific day.

This is why I ref 10 and under at my local Y. Ejections. Nothing, absolutely nothing, feels like ejecting the little punk when he looks at you wrong. Raise an eyebrow, you’re gone son. Dad screaming bloody murder from the sideline, take a walk kid. Someone has got to teach these kids a lesson. Sometimes life is cruel,…

I mean compared to committing genocide based on the color of your skin it’s a step in the right direction...

To give his should some rest, Tyreek’s son will now be taught how to kick-box