Fuck, can you imagine how incredibly awful it would be to have to put out a press release when you broke up with your freshman year high school boyfriend?

I really need to create some sort of overturned trucks tipline. 

This was a birthday dinner with a spouse, so it’s too late for the dating advice (or too early).
The problem seems to have been the man reminding her of her dad at the next table, afflicted himself with an over-developed sense of self-regard.
Therapy will probably still help, but I think that in this case, violence was…

I’d order something with a hard shell that’s difficult to crack, like lobster or crab, and then act real uncoordinated as you try to crack one open and ‘accidentally’ fling a crab leg at him.

I also love the “I may have made some women uncomfortable by making advances” bit. Men of the world: Politely asking a woman out for a drink or dinner or some other date is an acceptable advance. Saying you’re interested in her and would like to get to know her better is an acceptable advance. That’s about it. And…

I made her the Duchess she is today. Everything that Meghan is, I made her.”

Not a bad idea. 

On the one hand, I differ from many folks in that I don’t mind seeing PED users punished by the sport. On the other hand, I don’t care enough about their PED use to be mad at them personally.

Priyanka and Nick remind me of Cece and Schmidt on New Girl. 

Because it’s a pain in the fucking ass and sometimes it’s not worth spending 45 minutes packing up a diaper bag, snacks, toys, clothes, etc. just to drag a child somewhere they don’t want to be just for them to fall asleep on the way back and blow their only nap of the day. Not to mention the state of my back after…

Thank you everyone, very sincerely. It’s a huge help!

I don’t include Warren in with Hillary and Diane. She is old, yes, but she is outspoken about the need for reform and doesn’t waffle around in the ‘center.’

They are scared shitless of her and I am loving every minute of it.

I have one big reason for flying Southwest.

This article explains why Trumpers still support him. The money quote is “...when intolerant white people fear democracy may benefit marginalised people, they abandon their commitment to democracy.”

Twice in the past I’ve posted a link to the private screening of Woody Allen’s latest film that Beyoncé held for Jay-Z’s birthday last year, and not a peep from the writers or the comments. But Taylor Swift bakes a cake for a friend and it's something to be discussed... welcome to Jezebel 2018. 

I’m just going to reply to myself because I’m about to go to bed, and I don’t want to leave the greys hanging-

Maybe because she wished she could make a cake for her best friend and celebrate with her so she did it even if they couldn’t be together? If I was away from my best friend on my birthday and she baked a cake and decorated it in honor of me, I’d be filled with warm and fuzzy feelings because my friend was thinking of…

Most people don’t have experience boating and don’t realize that boats aren’t immune to that type of weather, especially on a lake. It’s not every day that you hear about a large boat sinking in the middle of an American lake. And I’m not sure what you expected them to do once they’d already left the dock and the…

Wow. That pharmacist is a piece of shit.