My ring is made out of organically-grown, free-range lentils and the artisans who made it actually paid me to take it off their hands.

well he cheated on me & it was a very expensive ring so i sold it & bought myself a car, champagne & a really great mixing console.

The engagement ended. What did you do with the ring?

As a high school theater kid, Bernadette Peters was high on my idols list. I can't even count how many times I watched her performing (while sick!) at the 2003 Tonys and her rendition of 'Tell Me on a Sunday'.

I want to have lunch with her, Judy Dench and Ian Mckellan.

The best part of this was when she talked about age in Hollywood and Mark Ruffalo became the smoothest man in history. Magical.

Meryl Streep in Manhattan (1979) She's so beautiful in that movie it hurts to look at her

Sounds like? I'm pretty sure I've SEEN that episode.

Sounds like the beginning of a Law & Order episode. Clang clang!

Keep it classy, Utah.

i agree with everyone who made this point because that was the only thing that bugged me.

I've seen worse. The thing that was freaking me out was that HE DIDNT WASH THE FUCKING TWEEZERS. There was obviously gunk on it from previous extraction attempts. Ugh ugh ugh.

Thanks, Colin. You have officially ruined Jewish Christmas!

Can you send the video to mark.shrayber@jezebel.com? Thanks!

"Calf-length everything"

You seem like a cool dude, Uncle Shifty, but it's not about you, big fella.

You could also reenact Dante's Inferno in an Ikea.

can we retire this song already???

I love this show so hard. And maybe it was the depressive binge watching, but by season 5 when we saw McNulty going back down into the rabbit hole, so to speak, I just couldn't handle it. I should probably go back and finish it now since I've had enough time away from it, but damn. What an incredible show.

I watched the end of season 4 where Randy's adopted homes and adopted mom where destroyed by the anti-snitch squad, and nothing on TV, not even Ole Yella's or Grandpa Walton's passing, has moved me to such a deep blue mood.