so no one has seen my posts in a long time because apparently my kinja just doesn't work on Jez anymore? Still works on everything else... Anyway, if anyone remembers my depressing I'M BEDRIDDEN AND GOING INSANE POSTS, it was totally worth it:

New mom here. I'm crying. I know this feeling 100%

I pretend I'm on the red carpet at the Oscars in a gown made out of my bath towel and I'm giving mini interviews where I think of new creative ways to tell them to fuck off and stop asking about who designed my dress.

GODDAMN THIS IS AWESOME!

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. If it is so impairative that you keep your gun on you at all times, then you must be able to carry it safely, no ifs ands or buts.

I cannot even fathom anyone thinking it appropriate to ask that question in that scenario. I'm completely baffled

no one will see this because I'm convinced that my Jezzie posts are now not only gray but invisble.

Yep, this is where I enter the "self-destruct" mode and it's awful.

I've tried to make chemistry happen and work, and in my experience it just didn't. I pretended that it was great, we dated for a year, but it got to a point where it felt like I was being raped when we had sex because I did not want it. Maybe others have had more positive experiences :/

GIVE ME ALL THE GRANDBABIES! Lol

That's just damn impressive in terms of continuity.

Branching out from your circle can be insanely difficult. I had to jump to a whole new age bracket to really find someone that was right.

I'm have been a self professed serial monogamist for almost a decade and most of my relationships lasted between 10-14 months. That seemed to be the time I either became disenchanted with the relationship or subconsciously realized what a dick they were. More often than not I entered "self destruct" mode around this…

We went wedding dress shopping shortly after my father passed away so there was no room for any negativity because at the drop of a hat my mother and I would cry hysterically.

Me too, I need more of it in my life!

I feel like that crazy Coffee Latte story needs to be a Hyperbole and a Half blog post, it needs Allie's glorious illustrations to depict that woman's rage.

After all of the horrific press for the Greek life, why are people still pledging? I'm not trying to be flippant, I really want to know. In light of recent events if I hear the word fraternity I cannot conjure up one good image. What is going on here? How are they still getting pledges?

Olivia!!!! She's unbelievably precious

The Fall is the perfect combination of the bleak scandinavian style crime drama and feminism. I couldn't be more crazy about Anderson's portrayal of Gibson. She's truly fantastic!

seriously. God bless the drugs! We chilled out and watched college football throughout my labor. After the hot mess of emotions for 9 months I'm glad my husband didn't have screaming certifiably crazy woman to deal with that day.