This comment is beautiful and may or may not have made me cry a little bit.

Jesus Fucking Christ. There's no way I can eloquently express just how awful this is.

At our yearly dance recital, we used to do a Daddy Daughter number at the end of dress rehearsal. And if the Dad's were on board, we did it the last night of the show. Just the corps dancers/TAs with their Dads. My Dad, with out fail or rhythm, danced for 5 years straight including a number which spliced YMCA with…

Imma stop you right there Mark, but this was the best parental embarrassment video of all time:

The tiny Jewish dad crisis was written just for me. <3

My dad and his girlfriend have a three month old baby. This summer he came to visit me to help with my recovery after surgery: a surgery where I wasn't sure if I would emerge from with one less ovary. Ovary kept, but I may have issue getting pregnant. Fine. Whatever. A week after the surgery my dad tells me that him…

KIRKLAND SIGNATURE HAS BEEN MORE FAITHFULLY EXCELLENT IN THE EXECUTION AND VALUE OF THEIR PRODUCTS THAN MY OWN FAMILY HAS BEEN WITH LOVE AND/OR APPROVAL.

As a teacher, one of my greatest fears is that my students will find my online dating profile(s) and troll the shit out of me.

"I wanna gyre and gimble all over your tits." Bulletproof.

I joked in the past that I learned two things in Catholic school, math and cursing. I have one that use as mantra when I'm feeling so mad at a situation that I'm feeling the red mist.

While I haven't been on Dilaudid, David Sedaris was, and he writes all about it in his colonoscopy essay, and he makes it sound pretty fucking magical.

Restaurant gift cards?

I'm pretty sure they can't do that, because it's illegal to do so with so little notice. You should have until the end of January — they're required to give you a notice of one payment period in most jurisdictions. Check your local tenant laws. They also need to learn that they have to follow the rules.

I'm incredibly thrilled I'm living abroad right now and won't be home for Christmas for the first time. But I'm also a little guilty, because I'm leaving my mom with my horrible, relentless, narcissistic father. The truth is, now that I'm away, I never want to go back. I haven't listened to any Christmas music, I've…

I don't want to bum everyone out but I just don't understand. What happens to someone that they think this is ok? How do I know this person and not know them at all?

21 is so young! You are not too old for college - no one will see you as the old one; they'll see you as the peer who can buy them liquor - and it's not unusual that you haven't had a boyfriend yet.

Well, my in-laws are coming for Christmas and his lordship is in full panicked prep mode. There's something very lampoon-y about this. Hopefully some weird, embarrassing cousin shows up with an RV.

ooo, I second touch screen gloves. I wish I had some.

I missed SNS last night because I was in the eff-ing Emergency Room...my first weekend back stateside and I spent it connected to an IV! I was having insane abdominal cramping and couldn't pinpoint the source...was it lady cramping? General abdomen? Who could tell? I cannot. Then, I puked like 4 times in one night…

I don't hat Daniel Craig, but...yeah, Idris Elba is much, much sexier. I fully support this