Yep the natural bacteria and yeast their body produces between their toes

Bring it on bitches!

Yes! Best gift I have received has been breast milk alcohol test strips, because moms need to GTFO too!

THIS.

Most people assume that you become another person entirely when you become a mom. And yes, I have seen that switch in people, but of my friends who are parents (mostly the people I work with), they are all pretty damn normal and not a hoard of mommy bloggers.

She would probably love to have you around all the time. Don't assume that she doesn't!

Fritos only make me think of the way my dog's paws smell. Anyone else got a love for the puppy Frito Paws?!?

And what about your friend who is now pregnant and no one wants to hang out with her anymore? I promise you it sucks a whole lot. And she then becomes a regular commenter on Jezebel because most of her friends have forgotten about her.

True, I think he only has 5 as of now though. Getting there

Skål!

YES! And since you're in Stockholm, happy St Lucy day! Making my lussekatter now, wish I could enjoy some glögg. Ooooh now I want mesost cheese as well... (That was my most expensive pregnancy craving my whole first trimester, lol)

Holy. Shit.

a nice older lady with more money than a Republican senate campaign

Surprisingly a lot of people actually. Complete assholes everyone of them

Bless you. Definitely relating to this story now, though thankfully I haven't had a full peesplosion yet. Only the sneeze "oh shit oops" pees

That sounds about right.

I think it's part of my charm. Not everyone thinks so unfortunately.

Addendum to the Thanksgiving story:

I know, its sheer brilliance.

I have a list of people who cannot see any of my posts, this is basically my MIL and her fucking annoying nosey friends. Be careful though. Sometimes when you post on a public group (I made this mistake, I thought it had been a private pregnancy yoga group) these people will see it with their magical stalking powers.…