Similarly I wish you would just shut up already. 

I’m not friends with either of them, and this is why.

Who knew that showing those same 4 ads would pay so much.

That’s what I was thinking as I was listening to this. If Rob “Yo Soy Fiesta” Gronkowski can be this articulate, reflective, and emotional while talking about how the basic rules of football can leave you crippled after you’ve won the Super Bowl, perhaps the sport shouldn’t exist anymore.

When even Gronk is smart enough to retire, it’s hard to hold a grudge against Andrew Luck

On this episode of “Let’s remember some failed police propaganda programs”: D.A.R.E.

actually when you win it’s good

Dunking on Russians is as American as apple pie

Rolled my eyes so hard I saw my own brain.

It’s good because I knew from the start that is was coming, and it still managed to deliver. “Turf toe” was perfect pitch. The Magary-style aggressive capitalization works, too.

I know exactly how Andrew Luck feels. I mean, I don’t have a degree from Stanford or a bunch of athletic ability or millions of dollars or a super-high IQ. But I have been booed by people in Indianapolis. And my boss does a lot of drugs.

It is not a sport for weak men. He never should have taken all that money if he knew he was just going to run away from the sport, with his tail between his legs, because he got a couple of booboos. Football is for real MEN and not these entitled CHILDREN who want their paychecks without giving it everything they…

“Everybody wishes they could be healthy all the time,” said Tom Brady. “It is a contact sport and he’s certainly had his fair share of injuries, so guys retire at different times. I’m sure Luck’s choice of retiring now in the height of nightshade season is coincidental. Maybe he’s just dehydrated.”

I honestly considered going this route and including the Chiefs, Chargers, Vikings, and Falcons as candidates. Though not the Eagles, obviously, since I’m a firm believer in the five-year rule, which forbids any fan from complaining for five years after a title.

I’d try it.

For a tangentially related sports angle, here’s Mark Cuban working at a Dairy Queen in 2002.

Oddly enough I suspect Grigson did his part to keep his local Applebees in business.

Ryan Grigson should have been running an Evansville Applebee’s into the ground rather than a generational quarterback talent.

Once again, I am on the side of the person who didn’t use the term “disrespect.”