PLEASE INFORM SOMEONE TO TURN OFF THE DAMN AUTOPLAYING VIDEOS

“I like beer.”

“Did somebody say ‘toast’?” - Rod Minegar, raising a glass

Yep, with this guy in charge, they’re toast.

A team spokesperson noted that, for the Cardinals this season, Minegar’s was but the first of many wasted drives.

When asked for a follow up, his horse replied, "Neigh".

In a released statement Long John Silver’s said the following about the company’s decision to no longer advertise at all on Fox News:

I haven’t seen a Christian be that racist since the opening ceremonies of the Winter Olympics.

I’m not sure you have a grasp on what Ray’s faults actually are.

I also hope that I am well thought of in my home town even after I help murder someone and destroy evidence. For all my faults- like that time I helped murder someone and destroy evidence- I feel like I have contributed a lot of positive speeches and tackles.

Somebody had a long phone call from Joel Osteen earlier today I’d wager.

Have you actually read the post, you clown?

OK, so the thing here was that there was a lot of complaining in the late ‘80s/early ‘90s about the amount of noise and traffic caused by the location of Stapleton Int’l Airport near downtown, so when Denver International was planned it was way the hell out of town to allow for growth, but not have the airport in the…

Eons ago I worked at an AOL tech support call center right across the street from Monfort in Greeley. Once a month they would boil off all the cow blood from the kill floor. You can’t just dump 500million gallons of cow blood into the ground water. Anyways... the smell of boiling cow blood is about the most heinous…

What has always sucked: There’s no polite way to say this, so I’ll just put it out there: Denver smells like poop. For real, I went there this summer and everything smelled like shit. So I asked a reader, “Hey, what’s that smell?”

The Jags are known more for this gif than for any sort of success.

Hmm, usually Lewis does really well with Sharpe points.

My favorite part of the Niners’s downfall is it’s entirely self inflicted. They drove out a good coach who had a good quarterback (who was benched and pushed out) and they fucked up a perennial good team with lots of talent (and young talent!) to this disaster. They had what was quite literally the perfect situation…

Lynch, who has most recently served as an analyst on Fox

This is a Dwight Schrute approved answer right here, folks.