It’s almost perfect, but you should make it three wheel drive, lift it about six inches, and put some knobby tires on it. It snow once every couple of years where I live.

Ooh, yes. Mayweather will be anticipating movement where there is none, and that’s when McGregor will throw his glove to the ground, slap Mayweather across the face, and yell “Dartanian” in a foppish Irish brogue. It’s genius.

Yes Pope Palpatine. Here’s how new pope works. He says something that sounds nice on the surface, like he believes it’s possible for non Christians to get into heaven, and the press trips over themselves trying to describe kind and enlightened he is. How he’s a new, gentler pope. But after all the fawning is over,…

“We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of…

I hate this pope. He has this veneer of progressiveness, but when you get down to the nitty gritty, he’s exactly the same as every other pope. I’m sad that Mean Captain Scowley threw in the towel. He didn’t make me feel like a victim of PR bullshit.

This brings me back to the totally legal “moment of silence” from my school. Prayer was 100% optional during it, but if you didn’t pray, you better goddamn pretend to pray.

I’m into the cellulite porn too. Nothin’ beats some chunky thighs. 

Maybe he’s an early member of the Nazi party. 42 seconds in.

I actually have Regulation Killed Poison Makers’ Jobs stuck in my head now. Somebody please record this. I’ll pay good money.

I’m not impressed. All you have to do to be good at this is face the other way.

I hope they bring back how easy they were to transform. Someone got a Bumblebee for my son a couple of years ago, and I think transforming it from robot to car was the hardest, most frustrating thing I’ve ever done. I fantasized for months about beating a hypothetical toy designer to death with a tire iron. I can…

I’m a huge proponent of vajazzling. Nowadays, if I’m presented with a vagina that can’t scratch glass, I send it away. 

I doesn’t always take much to to redirect a bullet with deadly results. I remember this case, where a boy was killed by a bullet that glanced off a suspended ceiling tile at a gun range.

I’ve been waiting for one of these to come on the market. If only this one had the oil drilling rig attachment. Without that, CP.

So how fast do you have to be going for this awesome wing to deploy?

“In order for you to learn what it’s like to take care of ten pound baby, each of you will be taking care of a ten pound baby”

Oh, come on. If he were having a stroke, he wouldn’t take the time to write covfefe.

The transformation is almost complete!

Your first gif cuts off before the tail deflation! Shame on you.

I knew about Brook, but I didn’t know he was one of a triplet.