It’s gotta be hard to be an exoplanet these days, living in the shadow of the everyone’s new favorite system, TRAPPIST-1.

The Raptors were down by 15 with 10 seconds to go and they try and cut it to 13 instead of dribbling it out and losing with some dignity. Fucking disgraceful!

The same corner in car form.

I just want one day a year where everyone is required to go the wrong way on the escalator. Or maybe malls can start renting them out after hours so people can have wrong way escalator parties. And I hope this happens soon, because I’m rapidly approaching “to old to participate” age. I already missed out on bouncy…

As far as ways to die go, that ain’t bad.

Big Polish center.

Fuck that. If I can’t vote Austin Rivers for MVP then I’m abstaining this year. What a farce.

“Fast And Furious Bullshit” is the next film in the series, where the crew is illegally smuggling corn-fed beef from Iowa to Pebble Beach to be sold as grass-fed using insanely modified farm equipment.

If only he’d been dressed like Marty the Monster.

This is ideal for wines served in screw top bottles.

That racing stripe down the middle leads me to believe that it would be more correct to refer to it as a merkin.

Whenever I’m out in public with my wife and I think somebody might be eavesdropping on us I blurt out, “So I says to the alien, “Who’s holding the probe now?”, while making a thrusting motion with my arm.

She has a permanent “survived traumatic brain injury” pass from me.

My first and only fake ID wasn’t even ID. It was a AAA card that of course had no picture on it. It also had no birth date field on it. At least until I deftly added one. I used it to get into R-rated movies.

The guy that rolls off the ladder is just terrible CGI. It really takes you out of the moment. It’s really hard get pasty albino skin right.

Noah Syndergaard did it last year against Kenta Maeda.

But he was a paying fan! What the fuck! Paying fans cannot do that. I know that if you didn’t pay to get in, well that’s obviously a grey area, but he paid actual money to enter the building. Gronk violated one of the most sacred unwritten rules of wrestling. It’s such a sacred unwritten rule that they actually…

It doesn’t even have active aero. I can’t be expected to change body positions while I’m riding.

And will all this finally provide proof that the universe was in fact intelligently designed by John Madden.

I’ve been saying it for years, and I’ll say it again. When I’m looking for solid information on menstruation, my go to guy is ALWAYS Pliny the Younger. It was he who said,“Pliny The Elder would still be with us today if Vesuvius hadn’t been on her period”.