I’m hoping the tall, gaunt, emaciated running back will make a comeback.

For a couple of years I lived practically next door to my school, but we were supposed to take the bus because there were railroad tracks between us. It was literally stop, get on, drive a hundred feet, get off. My brother and I walked anyway because we were bad motherfuckers.

This is why so many players have Jenrry Mejia on speed dial.

I loved him in Hannibal.

I don’t mean to get all back in my day, but back in my day school buses made one or 2 stops where an entire neighborhood of kids had gathered. Now they stop at every damn house.

You forgot to include a picture!

When I do this, I generally get naked before I get on the field. You also need to get slippery so security can’t get a good grip on you. MLB stadiums banned bringing in outside Vaseline after 9/11, so you can just rub yourself down with a stadium burger. Note: Do not try the hamburger thing in a stadium near a large…

That’s exactly why I was married in an Episcopal Church.

He’s like a vacuum cleaner out there.

So you’re saying I should have gone with David and foreskins?

I’m only 3 away from surpassing Elisha for the all time lead in the category of children killed by she-bear invocation.

I’m going to celebrate by volume shooting up.

No. I’m an idiot.

He died attempting to do a burnout while exiting a Carriage and Coffee event and instead smashed into a barn. That’s where the term “Darwin Award” comes from.

I wish this had happened during last season and they had a scene where Wun Wun [RIP] pulls Clarkson from a car and says, “You need to cool it with the trans-phobic stuff!”

I may be blind and stupid, but what did I misspell?

I had the same problem after I stupidly wedged my tole booth money in where the horn is on the steering wheel so I’d have it handy. One of the dimes slipped inside the steering wheel. At first it wasn’t to frequent, but then I was driving through a downtown area and it went full wedding party. I acted natural and…

I like the fuzziness of the quick render. It makes it look like God has just finished making it materialize.

I understand that. I’ve seen it.

Keep telling yourself that, champ. It’s not like I very commonly make long stream of consciousness comments laden with attempts at humor as a way to amuse myself [and possibly others]. I saw your comment, and saw a funny way to respond because it was the middle of the night and I’m an insomniac with nothing to do.