When I do this, I generally get naked before I get on the field. You also need to get slippery so security can’t get a good grip on you. MLB stadiums banned bringing in outside Vaseline after 9/11, so you can just rub yourself down with a stadium burger. Note: Do not try the hamburger thing in a stadium near a large…

Her answer should be that the science on vaccines is in. Hundreds of studies done by organizations all over the world with no vested interest in vaccine companies over the last 18 years all because of 1 retracted study done by a fraud holding a patent on a vaccine “alternative” which he intended to commercialize.

That’s exactly why I was married in an Episcopal Church.

He’s like a vacuum cleaner out there.

So you’re saying I should have gone with David and foreskins?

I’m only 3 away from surpassing Elisha for the all time lead in the category of children killed by she-bear invocation.

I’m going to celebrate by volume shooting up.

No. I’m an idiot.

He died attempting to do a burnout while exiting a Carriage and Coffee event and instead smashed into a barn. That’s where the term “Darwin Award” comes from.

I wish this had happened during last season and they had a scene where Wun Wun [RIP] pulls Clarkson from a car and says, “You need to cool it with the trans-phobic stuff!”

I may be blind and stupid, but what did I misspell?

I had the same problem after I stupidly wedged my tole booth money in where the horn is on the steering wheel so I’d have it handy. One of the dimes slipped inside the steering wheel. At first it wasn’t to frequent, but then I was driving through a downtown area and it went full wedding party. I acted natural and…

I like the fuzziness of the quick render. It makes it look like God has just finished making it materialize.

I understand that. I’ve seen it.

Keep telling yourself that, champ. It’s not like I very commonly make long stream of consciousness comments laden with attempts at humor as a way to amuse myself [and possibly others]. I saw your comment, and saw a funny way to respond because it was the middle of the night and I’m an insomniac with nothing to do.

That’s the thing. You interpreted his comment to be racist, because you share the same thoughts.

He said something which I interpenetrated to be racist, and I pointed it out. I can be wrong, but that doesn’t make me racist.

Twice in a row? Did some other comic make a joke about pancakes? And I swear to god, I was going to go with EdwardJamesAlmost until I thought of Edwardian. I even have a very bad, in progress avatar.

Oh, good lord. I didn’t pull my joke out of thin air. The posted story was about a misinterpretation of the word chapstick. So I thought of another very obvious way that chapstick could be misinterpreted. Take a hundred people, isolate them, and task them with coming up with a funny way of misinterpreting chapstick.…

Or people kept pointing out SUV crime statistics, which ignores my point. Or people kept saying something akin to “People of all creeds and colors commit crimes. You’re the real racist here!”, which also ignores my point. So if you have something to add, please do. Until then, your just saying say neener neneer.