So in summary:

They say kickers aren’t real football players. I say footballs are thugs and should be banned from the game.

Felps? The Swimmer Guy? It’s Flaps. Marshaun Flaps. He been one of my favorites to follow, along with that Jamiroquain sprinter, Eustace Bloat.

I posted a fun play, and from that, you took the opportunity to try and feel superior about two unrelated plays. There are good fans, and there are fans who are just tribalistic tools. Guess where you fall.

Oh god. There’s nothing sadder than a guy that has to gloat about a ten year old questionable call for which his team was the beneficiary in order to get a hard on. There are pills for that.

One of my all time favorite highlights is Marlon Anderson’s game tying, bottom of the ninth, inside the park home run. He also blows a bubble as he’s rounding second (you can see it better on the replay).

I don’t think it’s quite 80s tacky enough for Trump. Plus it’s made in Montreal. Trump prefers his imports be made in China, like any good rich American.

I think this rhino will give me a blowjob.

During the robbery, the gunman ordered the ice cream man to throw his keys out of the truck, the witness said.

That’s how I feel about powered rear liftgates. They make me wan’t to pull my hair out. And I’m afraid to force them open for fear of breaking something. I am a human. I need human speed things. Sub-human speed assistance isn’t assistance, it’s torture.

Have you seen the inside of a gas station bathroom?

But did he use Castrol® synthetic lube?

I tried FiberFix. I was on the toilet ALL THE TIME.

Hell yeah! An American cotton, handwoven by Betsy Ross, with a flag and an eagle on it, blanket statement.

Duel was also directed by Steven Spielberg, and is one of his best films. A TV movie so good it later got it’s own theatrical release.

The new face of terrorism.

No biggie. Just pull it out and act natural.

Let’s see:

If Tebow can resurrect a man on a plane, making the majors should be nothing. Think about that. A man is walking around, happy and healthy, who would otherwise be rotting in the ground had it not been for Tebow. He’s enjoying beautiful sunsets, and that intoxicating smell left on your fingers after picking sustainably…

Magic carpets? What are you, some kind of communists Muslins? If you want to turn, you just grab that pole firmly, and twist, just like any red blooded American teenage boy can do.