Matthew Dellavedova?

I’m not actually going to watch the video, but, based on the header gif, I’m assuming you’re giving away this car to someone with an extensive background in stalking. There can be no better candidate than I. Now, I don’t mean to brag, but, based on nothing but my bush hiding skills, the New England Patriots (a…

That’s a much better representation of Hank Hill than mine.

In an extreme case of white guilt, Steve Kerr smashes whiteboy to death.

Do not inkerr the wrath of Steve.

During my dinner with Andre, we had Rocky Mountain oysters.

Oh, he knows the bay area alright. This was apparent when he began talking about foreign policy, stating that he was the only candidate who wasn’t afraid to use the nuclear wessels in Alameda. Furthermore, when his speech was interrupted by a heckler, Trump deftly responded with the local vernacular, “Double dumbass…

More footage.

Mathemagician. Not to be confused with the Methemagician, whose only trick is making someone age twenty years in the span of just two.

Stricklin got well and truly grilled.

My Jurassic Park nightmare involves being chased down and teabagged by a sweaty Wayne Knight.

Thank god it was Intentional. I don’t know if I could live in a world where people accidentally edited out cigarettes from photos.

Whew! That impact left the hot dog with a huge glory hole. I guess it’s OK, seeing as that’s where hot dogs belong anyway.

Baseball is popular in Japan? I think you must be confusing Japan with Turkmenistan. Absolutely nobody cares about baseball in Japan.

I’m hoping they revive Anthropology Days.

“Get ready to shred bra!”

(looks up wire gauge) I know! what is it with these fucking morons. I mean, who in Satan’s name would be unaware of the instrument used to measure the diameter of wire. Fucking goddamn rubes, I tell ya.

You were kind to take me out of the grays, considering I left out like 3 or 4 words. Of course, English is my second language, my first language being horrendous proofreading.

Still others will say it’s a gharial, but they are indus other river.

It is. My grandmother makes the best chagas slatherd chikungunya you’ll ever taste.