JPP similarly easy to at Giant games, as he never chooses scissors.

Jesus, these fans are so poor. The only way they can afford an autograph is to get it on sale.

I think it would be worse if they found out Collective porn stache.

Immediately after: Ted Cruz will wonder why he’s the only man-like thing left on Earth.

This is a better plan than when I tried to capture some of the Sochi experience by serving Fugu at my family reunion. They still haven’t forgiven me.

You haven’t lived till you’ve heard Mendelssohn Concerto in E Minor, Op 64, played by someone with CTE.

B movie? This is basically the plot of The Natural, just with a slightly less sexy parasite.

You know what maximizes small living spaces? A section for filthy safe storage.

No Cylon trigger warning?

Oh yes. I’ve just finished reading Paul Cézanne’s memoirs in which he recounts the time he saw Van Gogh bite a man’s ear off for looking at him funny.

Mayhem is apparently a rather serious charge in Idaho:

This is exactly like waking up after having slept on my grandmother’s plastic covered couch in the middle of summer. Fuck you Grandma. Fuck you plastic.

Can we get one of these explaining the differences between a Citation and a pile of crap?

After stealing the knife, Canuck and a few friends used it to commit murder.

Want another heart attack? Wait for the zoom out at 20 second that just keeps going and going.

Great news everyone! Mike Utley lifted a fork!

Breaking News: Donald Trump labels new highways as drug addicts and rapists. Possibly, originally paved in Kenya.

He may have done wrong, but he was pressured into participating. You can find details of what happened by reading the book he wrote titled “River of Doubt”. Spoiler alert! He kills himself at the end.