@TasteDwayneBowe: That makes more sense.

I just realized that every other player in the history of the NBA is named Williams. Was there some supremely talented elder Williams that was covertly impregnating women all across the country? I want find this man. Where's Spencer Wells?

@Steve U: I won't say it's my favorite, but it makes me happy.

@Sheed's Bald Spot: Click on his profile now. His account has been marked for deletion. Your heartless comment broke the man.

@vodkanaut: SpongeBob is the only crossover toon I have with my kids. Team Umizoomi is the most tolerable of the kiddie shows. Dora, Diego, are painful. I do not ever allow my kids to watch WonderPets.

@vodkanaut: Sadly, Nick Jr.

@Phintastic: I'm not even white in real life.

@Always Winning: Oh yes. I think it'll come in handy when I finally make a run at getting my Jezebel star.

@Bevraj of Choice: You were my first Prince acknowledgment. I'll always have a special place in my heart for you now.

@Always Winning: My Avatar's the symbol Prince used when he briefly became The Artist Formerly Known as Prince.

@Always Winning: I suppose I have a lot of Purple Rain jokes to look forward to now.

@Steve U: Ha! Sorry. It was my own fault for choosing the avatar.

@Phintastic: I got tired of people addressing me in character and expecting me to respond in character. I had to avoid New Zealand posts like the plague.

I have a new look. Same old bad jokes.

Outrageous! It's only acceptable if you share.

When we got to his place, he tried every weird maneuver in the book to try to put his arm around me or some other junior high "move."

@FIFA-Thespian-Federation: That would get me the prostitution speech.

After my latest 2 hour shoveling marathon, my wife asked me, "Why don't we just get a snowblower". Why? Because you're the financial wizard running this operation and you said we couldn't afford one. Does that ring a bell?

@UweBollocks: The only good thing about bumper nuts is that they can be used to teabag shady mechanics.

@UweBollocks: I think getting banned should be the Lifehacker challenge.