@MarkKelsosMigraine: It made my mangina ache.

You wouldn't know a true story if you found one.

"I always wanted to know what it was like to play meaningful baseball in New York and I'm going to have the opportunity, assuming there's a not quite deep enough sacrifice fly to right field during the time they let me play."

Here's a fun game! Locate a dapper looking Richard Speck leering at the women in the photo.

The celebration was especially raucous because it coincided with the biennial parting of the smog festival.

@WhoDoYouKnowHere: +1

My brother and I a 6'5''. Had we not been born with these pesky Y chromosomes, we'd probably be 5'10'' or 5'11'' like my sisters. Were we to undergo sexual reassignment surgery, hormones may take some of our muscle tone away, but it's not doing diddly to our skeletons. It wouldn't change our height, hip structure,…

@Dandy Koufax: I'm late, but +1.

Upon completion, Alvarez unintentionally paid for someone else's tattoo.

Doesn't his concern just make you love him even more?

@AllTheMuppetsAreDead: Your words have inspired me to create a strain of E. coli bacteria the churns out heroin. Finally, the world will be able to look forward to uncontrollable diarrhea.

@bevraj of choice: I was working on it too.

@Pedro Cerrano's Voodoo Factory: He was commanded to drive by a neighbors dog who assured him that he was below the legal limit.

@bball123h: +1

More evidence that constantly sucking helium causes mouth cancer.

@Always Winning: You really need to include "The Turd" along with "El Turdo", as Matt did. Otherwise, how will anyone know what "El Turdo" means? We don't all speak Mexican.

@Lionel Osbourne: It must suck to finally achieve your dream of becoming a notorious murderer, only to be given a lame name like the "Craigslist Killer." I'd definitely want something cool like "Night Stalker" or "O.J.".

@Arthur_Digby_Sellers: +1

@See you suckers later: It's not as creepy as it sounds. I mean, Morgan was only 62 when he started banging his granddaughter.

Sadly, Nancy Kerrigan has promised her firstborn to a dwarf who spun straw into silver for her.