I found an old guy who looks just like Abe Vigoda (RIP?), but he passed the nazi sniff test. I think most of them have immigrated up to the U.S. over the past year.

Thank you for commenting. It’s been interesting.

What is the exchange rate on baby hearts?

I always make a trip to a grocery store whenever I travel. Even within the U.S., it’s one place you can see and feel some characteristic regionalism whereas so much other consumer culture has been converted to a national average. And as for grocery stores in foreign countries, every tourist should visit. So much is so…

I’m not sure I understood the instructions. Could you post a video of your setup so I can clearly see what it is you are proposing?

Aparently, you haven’t had enough to drink.

Newt is assaulted by trigger words in his usual safe space.

Amateur...

So if I piss into a baby’s mouth, that’d be ok?

needs nmoar arrrowz

I want to read the arrest affidavit and get the first-hand detectiving details on the finger-licking behavior. Are we sure she didn’t just finish a bucket of KFC?

In Soviet Russia, puppet pulls YOUR strings!

Yes.. ahem.. well... my apologies for pointing out a congenital family thing. May I suggest some spray-tan and some of those color contact lenses? Also, maybe lay off on drinking so much human blood. Just sayin’. Have you considered beet juice as a tasty vegan alternative?
SORRY ANNA, YOUR FAMILY SECRET IS SAFE WITH ME

Is Steve also a vampire with blood red eyes?

Oh, just nuke Florida ffs. You’ll feel better and that’ll take care of at least 15% of our national embarassment.

Hey Canada: Winter is coming.

Democracy 3.
It’s been sitting in my backlog for quite a while now, and I think it is high time to give it a go. Timely too.

What does Alex Trebek think about it?

Armrests matter!

$217 million worth of bowling balls, with legs and arms attached to them. Also boobs and maybe a head.