People have never taken heat stroke seriously enough. Especially in Football. I remember being 12 or 13 and being pushed to continue running even though it was 100 degrees and I could barely catch my breath. Luckily this wasn’t high school or college ball so there were no significant repercussions for me sitting my…

Ironically, “politically incorrect” is the PC term for “asshole.”

It’s amazing how they’ve managed to rebrand “being an asshole” to “politically incorrect.” 

“politically incorrect conservative.”

He does not seem like the type of person for whom that would be an either/or situation.

Soooo we’re all in agreeance the husband was definitely in there jerking off and not taking a dump, right?

What I can’t figure out is at the end when she says she moved out by Christmas, did she leave the husband by Christmas or did she and her husband move together? I hope she left him, that guy sounds awful.

It won’t last. Trust me: I have shepherded three kids into their double digits. The kids will be come intransigent at some point digging in on something such as anti-rice or monogamy viz. chicken fingers. You are so fucked and you don’t even know it. My middle daughter - brilliant and about as pleasant a teenager as…

i’m floored. i wasn’t prepared for that many twists 

For some reason, my kids are ONLY like this at dinner. They’ll shovel breakfast and lunch like their seat is on fire, but by dinner time, they’re prefer we masticate the food and bird-style feed it to them.

HOLY SHIT THAT HUSBAND IN THE EMAIL OF THE WEEK

I like “it is what is is.” Nice verbal shrug action.

Look at Bill Gates over here with a keyboard.

Personally, I don’t trust a man who says he’s never sharted.  That means he’s either a liar, or someone who doesn’t take risks.  I refuse to associate with either of these categories of “man”.

Sorry, but the most useful parent cliche is “this too shall pass.”

He should sit down with Barbara Walters for an interview about this secret. I bet she could get Penn to...Teller.

I could understand Teller not wanting to say anything, but Penn? For shame!

Eh, Jillette’s a libertarian.  He’s probably fine with whoever’s in the White House if he gets a tax cut.

Before going into detail here, I should note that I’ve never previously had, or been interested in, a bread bowl;

Anyone under the age of 25 would destroy that. I know it’s fun to pretend that this is some abomination, but it’s just alot of bread and soup. Young people eat alot of food all the time.