No doubt, and it’s not like convicted rapist Tyson is some great boon to humanity. Ideally, they would have inflicted mutual, completely career-ending injuries to each other.

This is uncomfortably close to being an actual scene from “Idiocracy”. 

All of a sudden? Hating Elon is not new. He’s been an embarrassing imbecil since at least the cave submarine incident. 

Exactly. A friend of mine, who was special forces and involved in all kinds of kinds of crazy stuff, once told me “The U.S. Government couldn’t keep a chili recipe a secret”. So to think that all those thousands of people purportedly involved in this stuff over the decades — and their spouses, kids, and our foreign…

Oh boo hoo. If they’re that worried they should just ban the import of any cars under 25 years old—that’s how you ensure road safety!

I love how this reads like they’re talking about an invasive species.

Sleeping babies are usually pretty quiet, awake babies can be outrageously noisy.

As long as I’ve been alive at least. But what specifically are you referring to here? 

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose newspaper told him to suck it
They did not approve
And told him to move
From public beach where he had stuck it

Agreed. Not so much ACAB as CAMBBTSLAMCIOKW (Cops Are Mostly Bastards But This Seems Like A Margin Call I’m OK With). Not as pithy but you get the point.

Jeez, I hope they made those new welds extra strong.

Most shocking acceleration modes in Teslas you HAVE to try to believe;

I’m guessing #1-#15 involve the police, right?

Got to wear your seatbelt - you could get hurt. 

First question? Did they hit him?

“You’re laughing?? Moe literally just hit Curly on the head with a hammer which caused Curly to go whoop whoop whoop whoop really loud and charge at Moe but Larry opened a window across the room and Curly ran out the open window and landed on top of a fruit stall and then started slipping on bananas when he tried to…

My artisanal correction fluid business, White Power, is going swimmingly.

Hannah Payne “acted like a cop”

I had a Fit for a while, my brother thought it was cute saying it’s a minivan. 

I was once gifted a confederate flag belt buckle with a Chevrolet emblem on it.